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Thursday 13 August 2020
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ZACH BRAFF APOLOGY: ‘I’M AN ASSHOLE’

ZACH BRAFF APOLOGY: ‘I’M AN ASSHOLE’

HOLLYWOOD – In  only the latest in a series of celebrity apologies, Zach Braff – star of Scrubs and director of Garden State and I Wish I Was Here – last night prostrated himself before the public and Jimmy Fallon and asked, nay, begged their forgiveness.

The transcript reads:

Fallon:

And I believe there’s something else you want to tell us? No, no, this is serious.

Braff:

Yes Jimmy. Thank you. Erm. Boy this is a lot harder than I thought it’d be. Okay. 

Fallon:

Take your time.

Braff:

Okay. What I guess I want to say, the reason I came here tonight, was to apologise to all the people who I know I have deeply offended over the years. I get it. I’m an asshole, I guess and it must be really hard for many people to even listen to me apologise. They must be thinking what an asshole. But I mean it from the deepest part of my being.

Fallon: 

I don’t understand, have you used racist or homophobic language?

Braff: 

God no! No! Just my very existence has deeply offended and hurt a lot of people. And I want to come here and hold my hand up. And yes a lot of you probably enjoyed Scrubs, but that’s only what makes it so much more painful for you when you had to sit through Garden State and then all that stuff with Kickstarter which was like super-annoying. I understand that just my face, my FACE, for many people is an outrage that causes both shock and offence. It’s not them, it’s me. There’s no excuse. Yes, I come from a background, in New Jersey, where there are a lot of douche bags, but that cannot mitigate the deep pain and agony I have caused with my mere public existence. 

Fallon: 

Well, thanks Zach. 

Braff: 

Was that okay? 

Fallon: 

Yeah, sure I guess. 

Braff: 

As good as Oldman, better than Jonah Hill, right? 

Fallon: 

Jesus, you really are an asshole.

Zach Braff will be appearing in another film in 2015.

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