HOLLYWOOD – This morning the world of show business was in shock after it was revealed that sometime on Saturday afternoon Zac Efron picked his nose.
The news came as a terrible blow to his millions of fans who looked up to the clean cut High School Musical star. The incident took place at a stop light in the vicinity of Venice Beach. Bystander Sharon Shlitz was out walking her fourteen year old daughter.
I recognized him from the TV adverts for Parkland you know. And I was just pointing him out to Charlene. And Charlene said, oh, because she isn’t very responsive to verbal stimulus. And as she turned to look I saw the finger go up into the nostril. I’d say way up to the second knuckle.
Other eye witnesses claimed that he also ate the product of the rummaging but this was later dismissed as fabrication. Psychologist Dr. Peter Bryant claimed:
Nose picking – although a disgusting habit – is actually quite wide spread and a car is a death trap for the nose picker. You see sitting in the vantage point of the car, you have the illusion that you’re invisible, whereas in fact you are quite visible because of these transparent apertures that we doctors call ‘windows’.
The Hollywood community was quick to condemn what it saw as a breach of an unwritten rule. Nicole Kidman – Efron’s co-star in The Paperboy – went so far as to say: ‘To think I pissed on him. Does the boy not have a handkerchief?’ And President Obama tweeted what was merely a two word tweet which read: ‘Mother. F*cker.’
Whether Efron’s career can survive the hit is yet to be seen, but hopefully other young people will have learned from this example of a young man whose fingers went where fingers are not supposed to go.
Parkland is out in theatres nationwide.