William Shatner Biopic Greenlit

HOLLYWOOD – The William Shatner biopic ‘I, Shat: Myself’ is greenlit.

Following in the footsteps of the Oscar winning Bohemian Rhapsody, Hollywood is a-buzz as the William Shatner biopic ‘I, Shat: Myself’ is greenlit.

A Shat Production

Shatner’s own production company, Shat Productions made the announcement earlier, in partnership with Paramount Studios. With a script written by Shatner himself, the film will go into production this summer.

Hollywood, Shat Or Bust

The film will chart Shatner’s humble beginnings in Canada, where he was raised as a slave-boy in the Dilithium Crystal mines of Quebec. It will tell of his thrilling escape from the mines by stowing aboard the freight ship, The Kobayashi Maru, as it set sail directly for Hollywood.

Shat On By Roddenberry

It will tell of a chance meeting with Gene Roddenberry. Where, in a Long Beach opium den Shatner invented science fiction by describing the entire Star Trek franchise to dope fiend and plagiarist, Gene Roddenberry. Roddenberry would steal Shatner’s idea and successfully pitch it to Paramount. By way of compensation, Shatner demanded he played the lead role of ship’s Captain Dick Dribbles, later changed to James T. Kirk.

Paramount Shat Themselves

The biopic will also tell how struggling studio Paramount begged Shatner to put his stellar acting career aside and come back to make the Star Trek films. The series would go from strength to strength, the highlight being Shat directed, billion dollar box office blockbuster, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier.

Shat On TV

He would then save the struggling TV network, ABC. He wrote, directed and starred in the first ever cop TV series, T J Hooker. After 4 ratings topping seasons, Shat left T J Hooker to concentrate on inventing the sci-fi genre for a second time, with his Tek Wars franchise.

Shat On By Stewart

The story also tells how Shat saved the career of struggling soap opera actor, Sir Patrick Stewart. He demanded Stewart played the new Enterprise Captain, Fucque Dribbles later changed to Jean-Luc Picard. They would become great friends, only for Stewart to betray Shat. Stewart demanded Kirk was killed off in Star Trek: Generations. This was totally the only reason it bombed at the box office.

Who Shat?

Hollywood is ablaze with gossip and rumor over who could be playing the young Shat. But The Exec has been told in confidence, Shat will play himself by using de-ageing CGI. Shat invented the technology so his close friend, Marty Scorsese could make Hoffa. Shat also totally wrote and turned down the lead in Hoffa.

I, Shat: Myself begins filming this summer.

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