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Wednesday 19 February 2020
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WILL SMITH’S MIND IS BROKEN

WILL SMITH’S MIND IS BROKEN

HOLLYWOOD – Will Smith today spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec about how his mind was broken following the release of After Earth.

How’re you feeling today, Will Smith?

It’s my mind, Dave. It’s going. I can feel it. I can feel it.

When did this happen?

All my films must be number one for me to feel properly validated. And yet After Earth was so boring I fell asleep while I was making it. I would just drift through scenes. I was lying down a lot and I talk in my sleep so we managed to ADR a lot of the dialogue. I don’t know what happened. It’s not as if Hitch was this masterpiece. Or I am Legend for that matter. But After Earth… They abandoned me.

Who do you blame?

Squirrels mainly. Vicious little rodents. Why are they hiding the nuts? What’s so special about the nuts they need to hide them? When did they become so untrusting?

The squirrels?

Oh and my son. He betrayed me. I thought Jaden could act, but the boy cannot act. He’s like a mini-me, but without me, just the mini. He said afterwards… this is very hard. He came up to me afterwards and said ‘I’m sorry dad, truly I am.’

That’s…

Totally unconvincing. I didn’t believe it for a second and if he can’t sell it to me, how’s he going to sell it to them. The public, the audience. Jackie Chan said it best when he said ‘Get that little asshole away from me.’

So what’s next for Will Smith?

I can sing you a song ‘Daisy Daisy give me your answer do, I’m half crazy all for the love of you.’

That’s lovely. Um. Final question. Is there any truth to the rumor that you’re becoming a Scientologist?

Hey! I might be crazy, but I’m not stupid.

Will Smith will next be appearing in M. Night Shyamalan’s new film Ding Dong.

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