HOLLYWOOD – Will Smith has confirmed via his Facebook account that he is officially divorced from reality.
“I’ve been thinking about it for a while now and the time has come to leave this plane of existence and explore other dimensions.”, said Smith.
Smith went on to say that he was intent on finding a parallel universe where After Earth swept the board at the Academy Awards, but Professor Stephen Hawking has claimed that Smith could be searching in vain.
“I’ve done several complex equations that only I am clever enough to understand,” said Hawking:
According to my calculations, even if there were infinite dimensions After Earth hasn’t won an Oscar in any of them. However, I did find a strange and frightening dimension in which Will won the MTV Movie Award for Best Male Performance in I am Legend.
Smith is not the first Hollywood star to transcend time and space. Dennis Hopper is rumored to have spent the majority of the 1970s living in a parallel universe were he was a living God worshiped by animal/human hybrids. It was only when he accidentally sobered up whilst sexually assaulting an Anteater in the middle of the Amazonian jungle in 1980 that he finally returned to the planet of his birth.
Meanwhile proud feminist, Jada Pinkett Smith, has welcomed her husband’s decision to leave this earthly domain:
My King has spoken. The King of the World. The King of Kings. King Kong, Martin Luther King, Ben E. King, The King and I, The King of Queens, The…
Will Smith will be released in 2016.