KANSAS – The controversial Westboro Baptist Church – best known for their “God Hates Fags” signs and their picketing of funerals – have announced that they will be running their own LGBT Film Festival this Summer.

For the statement and the full programme click after the jump. 

The Westboro Baptist Church here. I know, I know. You probably think of us as a bunch of pituitary glands armed with crucifixes. After all, you all are from Hollywood, the very centre of Beelzebub’s groin and don’t understand the pure teachings of the scripture. But in an effort to soften our image up some and get the kids on board – the ones we haven’t been able to brainwash from birth that is – we decided to reach out to the LGBT community. Yeah, you see how we didn’t just call them fags from the get go! So we’re organising a LGBT Film Festival of films we think have a salutary effect and help spread our message.

Philadelphia (director’s cut with an introduction by Tom Hanks): A ‘homosexual’ is rightly fired when he contracts a disease because of his filthy proclivities, a disease that comes straight from God’s middle finger! A black demon – who initially hates fags – defends him. Everyone goes to hell. Hilarious.

Brokeback Mountain: Two ‘homosexuals’ condemn themselves to eternal hell fire by using the body’s sewer as their own pleasure garden, when they should have been looking after the sheep, the way Jesus looked after sheep, caring for them and satisfying them, which is not to say he engaged in bestial congress. One of them dies and the other is Heartbroken. LMAO!

Milk: Sean Penn, the devil’s very own homunculus, plays an uppity ‘homosexual’ who fights against the righteous for ‘equal rights’. Josh Brolin shoots him dead and sends him straight to Hell! To make matters worse, James Franco is in it.

300: Three hundred Greek ‘homosexuals’ get into a fight with a black demon ‘transsexual’ and they all die violently and go to Hell. It’s really a kid’s film. 

The Passion of The Christ: A man who hangs around with a lot of other men and his loving mother, and who is betrayed by a man kissing him, is taken by a bunch of uniformed brutes and whipped and whipped and whipped and then hung on a cross naked for us to all gaze at and then rises again. Not ‘homosexual’.

Sex and the City 2: Why send fags homosexuals to Hell, when Carrie and friends seem so intent on bringing Hell to them?  

The WestboroBaptist Church LGBT Film Festival begins on the 15th of August.

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