WESLEY SNIPES ACCOUNTANCY SCHOOL OPENS
HOLLYWOOD – With campuses in The Cayman Islands, Geneva and Tijuana, The Wesley Snipes Accountancy School is opening for business. The Wesley Snipes Accountancy School will give qualifications in Basic Accounting, Lumpy Carpet Care and Book Cooking. The Exec sat down with Wesley to discuss his latest business venture.
Wesley, Thank You For Agreeing To Talk With Us
No problem, my pleasure. Tell me. Are these chairs real leather?
Um, I Believe So.
Woah. They must have cost a pretty wedge of green, that’s for sure. You know they’re tax deductible, right? Let me take them off your hands for say $50 a piece on credit. I could double your money in two weeks. You see, I gotta guy. He’d give you top dollar for them.
That’s OK, But Thank You Anyway.
Are these carpet tiles stuck down? I don’t think they are y’know. Here, give me a hand pulling this one up. There, I knew it. What did I tell ya? They aren’t stuck down. They got some give in them. I reckon we could get quite a lot stashed under these carpet tiles.
Would You Like To Tell Us About Your School?
Huh? Oh Yeah, sure thing. I’m opening up these schools all around the world. These assets are all registered outside of the good ol’ US of A so the fucking IRS can’t touch them. Smart eh? You bet I am. Fool me once, fool me twice, just don’t go fuckin’ fooling me, ok?
What Are You Teaching In Your Schools?
How to bend those bastards at the IRS right over and give it to them good. Wide end first, know what I mean? Look, it was me that was in Blade, Demolition Man, Drop Zone. All that shit. The fucking IRS weren’t in none of them. Why should they get my money? Anyway, I figured I’d open these schools to teach people the wrinkles, the ways to get around things. You see what I’m getting at?
Evasion, avoidance. Potato, tomato toe-ma-to. Who cares what you call it. The real sweet thing is that all the fees are charged outside the USA so they don’t get shit. Anyway, your time’s up. That’ll be $1500 please.
We Don’t Pay For Interviews
Why, you piece of shit. You’re as bad as the IRS. I’m outta here dude.