warren beatty

HOLLYWOOD – Warren Beatty bequeaths his love pencil to the Smithsonian Institution.

Splendor in the Grass actor Warren Beatty announced that his Dick Tracy will go to the Smithsonian, following negotiations that involved many leading museums in pursuit of the much vaunted organ. Beatty told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

The Smithsonian is the biggest, and in the end that’s what it came down to. We did have some very generous approaches from other institutions in New York and Los Angeles. Even Europe got in on the game with the Louvre making a late bid. But the Beatty Love Bus has finally found its parking garage.

When Beatty dies, his passion pillar will be removed and frozen in carbonite ‘like Han Solo’. They will then transport the member by Jumbo Jet to the Smithsonian. Here, it will have pride of place in a new ‘Sex Bits that Wrote History’ exhibit. Museum archivist Patricia Quant told the Exec:

Usually we’re interested in artifacts or documents or works of art. But with Warren Beatty’s one-eyed trouser snake we’re talking about something that has not only been historic in itself but has touched so many historic places. To be able to hold it in our hands – hopefully many, many years from now – will be like holding history itself.

Beatty’s willy will take its place beside Picasso’s ‘old man’, Hitler’s one ball and Mother Teresa’s massive vagina.

Warren Beatty’s penis is currently available for private viewings only.


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