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Saturday 5 December 2020
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WARNER BROS DENY MAKING JUPITER ASCENDING

WARNER BROS DENY MAKING JUPITER ASCENDING

HOLLYWOOD – Having pushed the release date of the new Wachowski Siblings feature Jupiter Ascending seven months from July to February, 2015, Warner Bros announced today that it had never heard of the Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum Science Fiction action film.

A spokesperson for the studio told Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum? Wow, that sounds great. That’s a movie I want to see. Definitely.

But you’ve made it?

What’s it called again?

Jupiter Ascending.

Jupiter… Ascending was it? Erm. No. We don’t have it on the docket. I don’t think… Oh wait a minute maybe Universal are making it. Yeah. That’ll be it. Talk to Universal. They’ll tell you. 

But you’re definitely making it. You’ve already made it, except for some special effects. There’s even been a trailer.   

Trailer? This line is really bad. Did you say…? Look. Are you seriously suggesting we would make a film with Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis and directed by the amazingly talented Wachowski Siblings, the visionaries who brought us Cloud Atlas, Speed Racer and Matrix Reloaded and then not release it? I mean that’s… You’ve been drinking crazy juice, if that’s what you think. The film was never made. But I’d love to read a treatment. Have your people talk to my people.

Jupiter Ascending might be released in February, 2015. 

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