WALLY PFISTER HAS A FUNNY NAME

Chad Sternberger Apr 20, 2014

HOLLYWOOD – It was revealed late last night that cinematographer and film director Wally Pfister has a ‘funny name’. The news partly explained the poor performance of his new film Transcendence.

One theater goer said:

I wanted to see the new Johnny Depp movie, but my boyfriend said we couldn’t go to see a movie directed by a man with that name. I mean it’s too funny. So we went to see Heaven is Real. Which isn’t.

Industry analyst and Swiss film critic Xavier Poulis observed:

The problem with Wally’s name is that he has what we in the Biz call a double whammy. First he’s called Wally, which in British English means dumb ass. Then the Pfister, which is both weirdly spelled and reminds everyone of fisting. Which is a sexual act that is as funny as it is gross. I mean I think.

But isn’t it unfair to persecute a man just because he has… no I’m sorry I can’t help it … Wally Pfister. Ha ha ha. 

Nobody wants to dismiss anyone only because of…

 Wally PFISTER!!!

Transcendence is currently in theaters!