Waititi Admits Vandalism Charge

HOLLYWOOD – Taika Waititi admits vandalism charge as CCTV captured images of him spray-painting the Hollywood walk of fame with obscene cock and balls images. The LAPD released a statement earlier stating Waititi admits vandalism charge in the face of irrefutable and rather disgusting evidence. The Exec caught up with the New Zealand director for an explanation.


Taika, why did you spray-paint the Hollywood walk of fame with childish cock and balls pics?


What do you mean childish? How very dare you sir. I take umbrage with your ignorant statement sir. UMBRAGE! These aren’t just simply childish pictures to be sniggered at. They’re works of art, with their own individual style and form. But ok, they are also pretty funny. I’ll give you that.


But why on the Hollywood walk of fame?


As Ming The Merciless said, why not? I just can’t stop myself. And what better way of sticking it to the man, than drawing a good classic cock and balls. I do the little dotted line, dots on the balls, and some little flies, but just around the tip.


It sounds like you take this quite seriously?


Oh, you can’t fuck about when it comes to art. Especially amusing art that gives such insight to the male psyche. Where else can you find a truer expression of the male as an animal? The cock. And then the balls. A perfect metaphor for the fragility of the male ego. Give them a kick, it’s agony and everything shrivels right up.


That’s all very poetic but it’s still vandalism.


One person’s art is another person’s vandalism. Banksy gets this shit all the time.


Are you claiming you know Banksy?


Well, let me put it like this. You’ve never seen me and Banksy in the same room, have you? (Makes a winky face)


More on this story as it breaks.

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