VENICE – Our intrepid Studio Exec has braved the screening rooms of the Darsena, the Sala Grande and even the dreaded plastic cavern that is the Palabiennale and now is here to give you his critical opinion.
I’ve seen films you people wouldn’t believe.
The Danish Girl: Stephen Hawkings wants to be a girl. Flutters eyelashes and weeps. No pastries.
The Childhood of a Leader: Brechty Ibsen W.H. Audenish, soundtrack by Scott Walker. What else do you need to know? And Robert Pattinson isn’t in it much.
L’Attesa: Juilette Binoche weeps.
A War: Danes again. Now in Afghanistan. One of the best films ever about the conflict. Shits on Lone Survivor from a height.
Janis: Little Girl Blue: Janis Joplin caterwauls and then dies.
L’Hermine: Funny and French. And it’s not every day you can say that.
A Bigger Splash: Voldemort is a record producer and Tilda Swinton can’t speak. Heavenly.
The Endless River: Pink Floyd’s dullest record gets an album to match.
El Clan: Great Argentine true crime caper with lots of brutality and a very bad daddy. How do you say Scorsese in Spanish?
Rabin: The Last Day: Israeli Prime Minister gets shot for making a peace deal.
Venice continues despite my best efforts.