US AIR DROPS A MILLION COPIES OF THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION ON SYRIA














WASHINGTON– President Obama has sensationally ordered the US air force to drop a million copies of The Shawshank Redemption on Syria in the hope it will inspire both sides to resolve their differences peacefully.

“I was sat with my war chiefs discussing how we should deal with the situation,” said the President.

They were all saying the usual things. Send in ground troops, nuke them, drop Sean Penn behind enemy lines armed with nothing but a rusty pen knife. Frankly I was at my wit’s end but then the lady who was serving coffee said that what we should do is give the Syrian people hope and as soon as she said it, I knew that Shawshank was the answer.

The US began distributing copies of the film earlier this afternoon and both rebel and government forces in Syria have taken to twitter to discuss the air drop.

“I’ve heard it’s a good film. But I can’t find anyone with a region 1 DVD player,” said Assad foot soldier Amir Asif.

Rebel fighter Abdul Akbar was also disappointed.

I’ve seen this film about sixty times. Why couldn’t they have dropped The Wolverine or We’re the Millers? I love Jason Sudeikis – he’s a funny guy.

Meanwhile Morgan Freeman and Tim Robbins have pledged to tour a stage version of Shawshank in Syria, as soon as the conflict is over.

“Morgan and I have been working on the show with Frank Darabont for the last decade and we feel Syria would be the perfect place to open,” said a passionate Robbins.

We believe that the Shawshank Redemption can bring lasting peace to The Middle East and the more people who are exposed to the story, the more chance we have of ending these terrible conflicts once and for all. Of course there is an issue with the language barrier, which is why the entire stage show will be performed via the medium of mime.


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