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Tuesday 29 September 2020
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TURNER AND HOOCH REBOOT ANNOUNCED

TURNER AND HOOCH REBOOT ANNOUNCED

BRUSSELS – Jean Claude Van Damme and his loveable Chihuahua Champion-Man are currently filming the Turner and Hooch remake in various locations across Europe.

The sure-fire winning combo of wise cracking cop and loveable dog concept movie is set to rise again and the Studio Exec managed to catch up with both stars.

No one has ever seen action like this. This is a whole new genre of entertainment. It’s beyond your imagination.

Could you break it down a little for those of us who may need help then?

Have you ever seen a dog rip out someone’s throat while firing a semi automatic machine gun?

I don’t think so.

See! I told you. You didn’t imagine it. I put that in there. That’s just one of the images you will see for the first time. Champion-Man will bring new depths of excitement to modern cinema.

What is the actual story this time around?

The REAL story is that I was watching the movie Taken with Champion-Man and we both agreed that it was weak as cabbage pee and that it’d be vastly improved with a real martial artist and a real dog. I know for a FACT Neeson could never do the splits in a time of crisis. He’s an ass biscuit. Neither could he train a small dog to steal a Vespa with nothing but a hand gesture. Do you agree with these statements?

Well…I know Liam quite well, I’m fairly sure he couldn’t do the splits.

Thank you. That will look good on the poster. I must leave you now. Champion-Man must tinkle then feed.

Turner and Hooch: The Belgian Connection is currently held up due to copyright infringement allegations.

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