tucker carlson

WASHINGTON – Fox News host Tucker Carlson frequently defecates while live.

Shocking new revelations hit the internet today about Tucker Carlson. A source on the production of Carlson’s show Tucker Carlson Tonight revealed the popular TV commentator regularly poops during the recording of his show. Speaking to the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY, the source, known only as Mayonnaise, told us:

At first it was farts. There’d always be this smell and we joked about it. But then it got really foul and we realized that Tucker was actually birthing a brown loaf. Of course, the crew and everyone in the studio knew about it, but by this time Tucker was so powerful he could do anything. He told management that defecating was ‘part of his process’ so they built him a special seat with a bucket than can be emptied between commercial breaks.

Mayonnaise insists that Fox management facilitate Tucker’s evacuations.

You can actually see on screen when he is doing it. His brow furrows and his eyes cross slightly.

The revelations come after the dismissal of a long time writer of the show for a series of racist and inflammatory messages. However, Mayonnaise believes that his accusations will not represent an existential threat to Tucker Carlson.

Look the things which would appal many people are actually things which the Fox audience prize. They like the racist messages writer. And the idea of having a shit during the show, well that’s just dandy with most of them. They hear that and they think Tucker’s living the dream. Going to the lavatory like a normal person is for liberals and they’ll have none of it. Mark my words.

Tucker Carlson is on the Fox News Channel.

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