TOM WAITS TO VOICE PADDINGTON BEAR
LONDON – After Colin Firth’s shock decision to exit Paddington Bear it has emerged that grizzled singer-songwriter Tom Waits will now voice the marmalade loving mammal:
I offered him a cigarette. He said he didn’t smoke
so I gave him a banana which he lit and had a toke.
Then in walked Elvis with the Aga Khan, they asked me for the time
but my watch had stopped, the day she left at 19.29.
I don’t know the bear from Adam but we puffed into the eve
He got high on toast and marmalade and I got by on speed.
As the darkness drenched the hour he said Waiter, fetch the wine.
but I haven’t touched a drop of red since 1999.
The bear was getting anxious, to the clock he was a slave
I said ‘Time is just a bottle bobbing gently in the waves.’
Then he put his arms around my neck and looked me in the eye
but I won’t tell you what he told me, cross my heart and hope to die.