Tom Hardy

HOLLYWOOD – Francis Ford Coppola’s long-awaited Marlon Brando biography is finally taking shape with the news that Tom Hardy has been cast as the eccentric method actor.

“We wanted Tom from the very beginning but he was unable to commit due to another project”, said executive producer, John Shale:

But then that project (The Elton John biography ‘Rocketman’) fell through and we finally got our man.

Mick Patch, a close friend of Hardy revealed his pal is already hard at work preparing for the role of Brando.

Tom’s spent a month eating deep fried ice cream, forgetting his lines and sexually experimenting with cold butter. He’s gained about 50 pounds and I’ll be honest, It’s not been good for him. Last week I walked in and he was eating a pizza with his feet! He’ll be fine, though. Once we’ve finished filming Brando’s later years Tom will have to drop the weight and play Marlon in his younger prime. That basically involves him walking around mumbling wearing a white vest.

The Studio Exec arranged to meet Hardy for an interview but he pulled out at the last minute sending civil rights activist, Sacheen Littlefeather, to give his excuses:

Mr Hardy would like to thank you for your generous offer of an interview. Unfortunately, he swallowed a large amount of cotton wool rehearsing for The Godfather scene and he’s currently in the bathroom struggling to pass an entire sheep through his asshole.

Marlon is due for release in 2019

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