LONDON – In casting news that surprised absolutely nobody, Tom Hardy has been cast in Jane Campion‘s new biopic of the maudlin Edwardian novelist Thomas Hardy as Thomas Hardy and which will start filming under the title Thomas Hardy: The Hardy Boy.
Campion’s film will tell the story of the formative years of Thomas Hardy as he struggled to find his voice as a writer and spent a lot of time mispronouncing where he lived as ‘Wessex’ because of a slight lisp.
Tom Hardy who will be playing Thomas Hardy, but who is not to be confused with Thomas Hardy – he’s Tom Hardy his character is Thomas Hardy – except of course in so far as actors wilfully wish us to be confused with the role that they are playing, if you know what I mean.
Anyway, Tom Hardy in the role of Thomas Hardy has been preparing for playing the role by having his friends and family who usually call him Tom Hardy call him Thomas Hardy instead. However when he spoke with Jane Campion he was in for a surprise.
‘Jane told me that duing the period of his life that we’ll be covering in Thomas Hardy The Hardy Boy a lot of Thomas Hardy’s friends would actually call him Tom Hardy and so all my friends and family had to go back to calling me Tom Hardy again,’ Tom Hardy (actor) laughs and scratches his balls which are clearly visible through his tight swimming costume. ‘That was a funny conversation.’
Filming is due to start in January next year, but there is a very real possibility that it won’t happen because the whole thing is confusing and really, no one can be bothered.