Forest Hump

NEW YORK – The new Tom Hanks rap alter ego “Forrest Hump” was introduced to the viewers of Good Morning America as he ranted and raged, swearing like a navvy who has just cut off his thumb. Sporting what he later described as a “Fuck you” moustache, Hanks made salacious comments about the TV presenter Elizabeth Vargas, who tried to distract him from his rap career by asking him about his role as an actor in Cloud Atlas. But Hanks just used that moment as an excuse to spray liquid profanity from his face hole, only pretending sarcastically to have made a mistake. “There’s going to be a seven second delay next time I’m on.”, he said, sniggering and groping his own groin.

Hanks behaviour has become increasingly unhinged since he launched himself into the rap world with his first Rap single as “Forrest Hump”, his foul mouthed libidinous alter ego.

Publicist Brian Ryan said, “This is a classic moment we publicists call the ‘Bergman pivot’. You change everyone’s perceptions of you in one fell swoop. Ingrid Bergman did it by running off with Italian film director, Roberto Rosselini, and Hanks has done it by potty mouthing Vargas on GMA.”

Read more about Hanks’ burgeoning music career by clicking here.

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