TOM CRUISE RENOUNCES SCIENTOLOGY
CALIFORNIA – Tom Cruise is no longer a scientologist.
In a shock move Tom Cruise has today renounced Scientology. He called upon the religion’s leader David Miscavige to return his immortal soul. “He has it in a safe in a Swiss bank and I want it back!” said an accusatory Cruise. Tom claims his soul was extracted from his body in the late 80s during the churches infamous auditing process.