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Monday 9 December 2019
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TOM CRUISE BUYS LIECHTENSTEIN

TOM CRUISE BUYS LIECHTENSTEIN

 

VADUZ  – Film star, couch safety tester and leading Thetan, Tom Cruise today finalized the purchase of Liechtenstein and declared himself Prince Cruise.

The Principality located between Switzerland and Austria had taken the unusual measure of hiring itself out for an evening at a time at the price of $70,000 a night, during which period novelty currency would be used, street signs featuring the name of the client and 150 guests could be accommodated.  
Scientology has been declared the state religion and a private police force called the ‘Cruise Control’. 

Witnesses on the Austrian border says they could distinctly hear the Rock of the Ages sound track booming out over the once peaceful land.

Local resident Gustav Hanker said that he was cautiously optimistic about the new regime: ‘We live very quietly here and we like winter sports and walking. The only problem is something should be done about some of the litter in Vaduz. But I’m sure Prince Cruise can solve it. I mean, it’s hardly a mission impossible.’
Herr Hanker laughed his face off at his own carefully prepared joke.
The news comes only weeks after Anne Hathaway bought Poland and Sean Penn made the first of a series of down payments on Haiti.

Risky Business 2: The VD Files is due out in 2015.

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