HOLLYWOOD – It was revealed today that the Chris Pine, Reese Witherspooon and Tom Hardy ménage-a-trois This Means War was actually supposed to be a comedy. The director Joseph McGinty Nichol – who because of a clerical error has been lumbered with the ludicrous sobriquet McG – revealed in an interview for the academic journal Scrotus: “It was supposed to be a comedy, but I’ll be God-damned if I ever heard anyone laugh.”
|Joseph McGinty Nichol|
Tom Hardy is still under the impression that he was in a gritty Bourne like spy drama and Reese Witherspoon saw it as a breakout dramatic role for her. Chris Pine was the only member of the cast who was in on the joke that there were supposed to be jokes.
“It quickly became apparent that we were creating a deeply offensive pile of steaming effluent,” admitted Joseph McGinty Nichol – AKA McG, “But by then, it was too late, and there was nothing we could do but go on with it and hope that no one would go and see it.”
Joseph McGinty Nichol added that he was deeply sorry for anyone who had paid money for a ticket, and would personally pay people back out of his own pocket.
“They’ll have to find me first,” he said, laughing.
Words he quickly regretted as an international manhunt involving several state security agencies as well as private individuals, corporations and NGOs, was immediately launched by the non-amused.
Scrotus is available from all good newsagents.