THE REBOOTED RONALD MCDONALD ‘TOO SCARY’

Chad Sternberger Apr 26, 2014

HOLLYWOOD – The new reboot of Ronald McDonald in the advertising campaign for McDonald’s has been criticized by church groups, youth organizations and Stephen King fans as ‘too scary’. 

Traumatized customer Gale Petersen (11 years old) said:

I love going to McDonalds. But last time I went I heard a voice from the drain. It was Ronald McDonald but he looked really dirty. He asked me if I wanted a balloon with my happy meal. I said yes, but then he grabbed my arm. And my dad stamped on his hand and broke his fingers.

A representative for the Golden Arches said:

That’s just kids though, isn’t it? They get scared easy and you know. We can’t worry about them all the time. Honestly. Frankly, we’re kinda sick of kids. F*cking little assholes.  

What do you think? Hmmm. Yeah? Really? Interesting.