The Studio Exec has received an e-mail from an anonymous source claiming the NSA has activated its secret Terminator programme in order to silence project PRISM whistle blower Edward Snowdon.

“I think the world has a right to know what’s going on,” said the source.

The fact is that James Cameron’s The Terminator was based on a real covert experiment to manufacture time travelling assassins. Lee Harvey Oswald was the original prototype: he was a soldier and volunteered for the role. They told him he was going to be Captain America but in reality, he ended up like Doctor Doom.

The source went on to say that the Terminator has been knocking on hotel room doors in Hong Kong asking if Edward Snowdon is in.

Unfortunately his Googletranslate chip has malfunctioned so he can’t understand Chinese which has already led to the death of a number of innocent civilians.

Snowdon is believed to be aware of the threat and is now rumoured to be located close to a hydraulic press and a lake of molten metal. However President Barack Obamaclaims the former agent has nothing to fear.

I just want to talk to Mr Snowden. If he wants to meet me in Starbucks to have a coffee and a chat then let’s do it. I know a good one in Guantanamo Bay and I’m more than willing to fly him over there for free.

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