Hi, I’m Jack Nicholson.
People often say to me – Jack, they say, what was it like working on Easy Rider?
Well, I’ll tell you folks. Fonda is a straight shooter. You could set your watch by the son of a bitch, but Hopper was one of the craziest bastards I’ve ever eaten Chinese food with.
I remember we were holed up in New Orleans during Mardi Gras and Hopper appeared at the bar dressed as a Voodoo Witch doctor with a pair of octogenarian hookers on each arm. He said he’d rented a boat and was going to spend the afternoon entertaining these fine ladies on the river and could he take a couple of grams of blow to tide him over.
When Rip Torn casually informed him there was no blow left, Hopper produced a monkey Skull from his JuJu bag and waved it in Rip’s face claiming he was putting a curse on him. Now back then old Rip had what you might call an underdeveloped sense of humour; and he pulled a blade from his boot threatening to slice off the larger of Hopper’s testicles.
I have no recollection of what happened next but, when I woke up the next morning, I was lying face down on the deck of a Mississippi paddle steamer heading for Missouri, clutching a bottle of Jim Beam and a stuffed walrus.
You know as much fun as we had on that movie what sticks in my mind was the Steak Tartare I had aboard that Steamer. It’s one of the quickest and tastiest meals a man could ever wish for, and here’s how you do it:
There you go folks. No frills Steak Tartare the Nicholson way. Come by next week, when I’ll be revealing how to make a four bird roast with only three birds.
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