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Friday 5 June 2020
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THE COMCAST/TIME-WARNER MERGER NAME CHANGE

THE COMCAST/TIME-WARNER MERGER NAME CHANGE

HOLLYWOOD – Following the news that the FCC is about to bury the concept of Net Neutrality, communications giants Comcast and Time Warner celebrated by announcing that their post-merger super-company will henceforth be known as SkyNet.

A spokesperson for the new company said that the new name was supposed to inspire ‘a sense of awe, trembling and fear in our valued customers as well as encouraging a predisposition to obey our digital overlords.’ Asked whether the name had any connection to the machines which take over the world in the Terminator films, the same spokesperson said the following:

Ha ha ha! Terminator films? Oh really come on. I mean, really! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Seriously? Seriously? Ha ha! You’re comparing a merger of Time Warner with Comcast with a Science Fiction movie about a heartless capitalistic mechanism taking over the world and mercilessly crushing all opposition. Well, yes. Obviously.

Sofia Coppola’s Terminator 5 will be released in 2016.  

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