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Sunday 15 September 2019
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THE BEAST RABBAN APPREHENDED

THE BEAST RABBAN APPREHENDED

HOLLYWOOD – The Beast Rabban has been taken into custody following a nationwide manhunt that lasted for almost five months.

As reported in January in the Studio Exec (Click Here to read), Glossu ‘The Beast’ Rabban escaped from the Pelican Bay Maximum Security Correctional Facility in California where he has been serving a life sentence for murder, war crimes and ‘interfering with the flow of the Spice’. An alert was issued and rumor had it that the Beast had left the country possibly to settle in Arrakis or Canada. However, it seems that the Beast had not traveled quite so far and was arrested yesterday afternoon in Hodad’s diner at Ocean Beach in San Diego, where he was completing a world record meal of consuming thirty hamburgers in one sitting.

A spokesperson for the San Diego police department told the Studio Exec:

We got the call that there was an individual fitting the Beat’s description in popular eating place Hodad’s. The man looked exactly as he did in the photographs we had issued. It is baffling that he made absolutely no attempt to disguise or change his appearance. Apparently he had been wandering around the state sampling the food and yet we had no sightings of him or reports until this one came in. It appears that people were simply too intimidated by him to risk calling the police.

Although the police feared a fire fight, the Beast decided to return to his cell peacefully, though he will now be facing further criminal proceedings for his escape. Close friend and musician Sting said that he was saddened to hear that the Beast was once more incarcerated. Speaking to us earlier today, Sting said:

Everyone sees the Beast Rabban as this terrible fiend who murders for pleasure and has the amazing ability of dismembering people with his bare hands, but in reality Glossu is a lovely and sensitive human being. Yes, he drinks a juice made from crushed rodents and yes, he does kill and maim many, many people, but can a man who states that his favorite song is An Englishman in New York be all bad? I put it to you he simply cannot.

The Beast Rabban will be out sometime in 2035.

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