Our regular columnist Terrence Malick considers the work of director Stanley Kubrick.

Yo! Yo! YO! From the M to the A to the L to the I … this is too long. It’s me, Malick T. Your favourite Director/MC. Bringing da noise for da girls and da boys, for da bitches and hos there’re strong female characters I suppose. Yo Yo YO!

So everybody be talking about this dude Q-Brick, like he some kinda God, like he da man and everything. Well, I don’t know bout dat. I done watch his punk ass films and I gotta tell you dey were rank. Take Dr. Strangelove. Supposed to be a Goddam porno, asshole don’t even bother getting out of his wheelchair to till the last shot! What’s up with dat?

2001: a Space Odyssey looks nothing like 2001. A Clockwork Orange, I was thinking aw, nice, a children’s film. It’s just a bunch of Goddam rape. And The Shining? The Shining? If ever a film needed J.J. Abrams’ magic touch it was The Shining.

No, I don’t get it. Q-Brick had a beard. I get it. But making films? No dice pal. Whenever one comes on the TV my Eyes are Wide Closed motherfckers! You feel me?
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