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Monday 13 July 2020
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TENET WAS ALREADY RELEASED TWO YEARS AGO

TENET WAS ALREADY RELEASED TWO YEARS AGO

HOLLYWOOD – Christopher Nolan announces that he released Tenet two years ago.

In a further twist to the Tenet release saga, we learned today that Christopher Nolan released the film two years ago.

He spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec saying that publications like Variety were rubbish. Here, is the interview in full:

I only talk to you SE, because you’re the only one who can truly grasp the intertwining intricacies of my complicated mind.

Right. Gotcha Big C. So what’s all this about Tenet already being out?

You’ve asked me that question already.

Have I?

You will have have.

Wait. What?

You see all my films firstly have this way in which their distribution and the theatrical experience mirrors the themes of the films. So I want to make a big film like Dark Knight, I use Imax. I want to make a dream I make Inception or I want to go back in time for Dunkirk, that’s what I do. Tenet is about time travel. So the best way of releasing it was to go back in time and release it then.

So you’ve gone back in time and released Tenet already?

That’s absolutely right. You’ve already seen it.

Did I like it?

You loved it. The critical reaction was overwhelmingly positive, except for those arseholes at Variety.

What have you got against Variety?

I hate them. They call their magazine Variety and it’s all about movies. Where’s the variety in that?

I see what you mean. So how come I have no memory of Tenet if I’ve already seen it?

Don’t you have a memory of it?

Wait, the way Kenneth Branagh dies is… oh hang on that’s a spoiler.

No it isn’t. Everyone’s already seen it.

Tenet comes in 2018.

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