teenage mutant ninja turtles

HOLLYWOOD – Federal authorities have warned that the release of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows might cause violence and have insisted that distributors take precautions.

The release of any Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is a big deal, but the highly anticipated arrival of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows has prompted law enforcement agencies across the country to issue some of the starkest warnings yet since M. Night Shyamalan released The Happening. A spokesperson for the FDD told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

We know for a fact that some people are going to want to go and see this film. Most of these people are honest, decent hardworking folk who just wanted to relax in front of one of the big tent pole releases of the Summer blockbuster season. And yet we also know that the demand is going to be so high for tickets that not everyone is going to be satisfied and that’s where the trouble might start. We will be stationing full riot police at every cinema and erecting outside screens to try and deal with the overflow.

The extra measures will hopefully avert the scenes that greeted the release of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in 2014 which saw over five thousand people lose their lives in what was described as ‘the nearest thing to a movie civil war’.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles will be released in July, 2016.

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