AMA RECOGNISE WILL FERRELL SYNDROME

CHICAGO – Will Ferrell Syndrome has been recognised as an actual medical condition.

Dr. Roberto Coteeze of the American Medical Association declared today the Will Ferrell Syndrome would be classified as a recognized medical condition although the ‘pathology has not yet been fully defined.’

Will Ferrell Syndrome is a condition which seems to only affect very funny men who have made a promising start to their television careers (usually on Saturday Night Live) before moving onto Hollywood and five picture deals. In some cases, the progress of the syndrome is relatively slow, especially if actors confine themselves to character parts, but once they approach ‘family entertainment’ or ‘gross-out comedy’ they are doomed never to be funny again.

Will Ferrell – after whom the syndrome is named (Stiller Disease being an earlier option) – is a prime example. ‘He was great in Zoolander,’ says Dr. Coteeze, ‘but then came Land of the Lost and that was as funny as a teenager’s funeral.’

admitted to hospital

Other sufferers include Jack Black, Ben Stiller, Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock, Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson. Vigils are currently being held for Zach Galifianakis in hope that he too won’t succumb.

Flowers have been laid, songs sung.

HANGOVER PART 3 INCLUDES DEATHS OF MAIN CHARACTERS

HOLLYWOOD – With the release of the Trailer of The Hangover Part 3, the Studio Exec was given the opportunity to sit down and speak with the cast and director.

‘When we got together to talk about doing a third part to the much loved comedy series The Hangover, one thing we were all agreed on was not to simply photocopy the original,’ says writer Todd Phillips. ‘After all, we already did that with Hangover Part 2. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!’

The ‘creative’ team behind the multi-million dollar franchise decided that there free and easy approach to alcohol had perhaps been a ‘mite irresponsible’ and so to add a darker tone and to redress the balance it was decided early on to kill off several members of the cast.
Zach Galifianakis butts in:

Initially my character erm… Alan, I think he’s called? Any way me. I was going to contract hepatitis from the drinking and liver damage and they would have had to amputate both my legs which got gangrenous. But then we decided a lot of the comedy beats were a bit off, but then we said well if after the operations I die anyway, now THAT would be hilarious.

Phillips continues:

Of course once we’d killed Alan we thought, Wow, what if we killed off Bradley Cooper as well, I mean his character.Jesus what is his name? Anyway, we thought he could Hendrix, you know choke on his own vomit in a drink induced coma. It’d be gross out comedy and poignant to boot. 

Cooper laughs, with this look of fear in his eye. He takes up the narrative:

So then Ed Helms who plays David or Doug or Dan or someone, he was like woah there. What about me? So Todd came up with this…

Tod Phillips:

Fantastic idea. Yeah. That he should drink drive and like crash the car and totally be decapitated, and because he’s so fucking drunk, he’s like staggering around like a fucking chicken. I mean comedy is about accumulation. First he loses a tooth and then his head. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

So Ken Jeong’s character is the only one to survive?

Heck no. He gets really depressed and kills himself.

The Hangover Part 3 will premiere at the Cannes Film Festival in May, 2013.