5 REASONS BAYWATCH WIPED OUT AT THE BOX OFFICE

HOLLYWOOD – Dwayne the Rock Johnson and Zac Efron movie, Baywatch has turned out to be one of the biggest flops of the year.

Even mouth to mouth can’t save this turkey can’t save the gasping mess that is Baywatch. So what are the FIVE reasons that Baywatch failed to connect to audiences. We sent the Studio Exec FACT SQUAD to the beach to find out:

1 It was shit.

2 It was shit.

3 It was shit.

4 It was shit.

5 It was shit.

 

For more FACTS click HERE.

MAN DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER SAYS IT WAS STILL FUNNIER THAN BAD NEIGHBORS 2

HOLLYWOOD – Brian Akewith has just been diagnosed with cancer but he still believes that moment was funnier than anything in Zac Efron and Seth Rogen’s Bad Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising.

Being diagnosed with cancer is terrible, really terrible, I think we can all agree on that. And Brian Akewith of San Diego, California received the news at his doctor’s office in the company of his wife.

It was difficult to take. When someone actually pronounces those words. They’re immediately talking about treatment and options, but your mind is racing and you don’t really hear them. It will probably still take some time to sink in. And yet even in that moment both I and Caroline managed to joke about it and our doctor is also a guy we’ve been going to for a long time so we are a little like friends. It was horrible news, but we dealt with it well and we walked out of his office with some hope.

In order to pass some time and help them take their minds of the dilemma they decided to catch a movie before heading home.

I had seen the original Bad Neighbors and I thought it was likable in a dumb way so we thought why not.

However, what they had hoped would come as some much needed comic relief turned into a nightmare.

We just sat there wondering about the void at the center of all life. I mean what hope is there. I even began to feel angry. Seth Rogen is going to be making these dumb movies and chances are I’ll be gone. It just doesn’t seem fair.

Comparing the two experiences, Brian was clear.

I wouldn’t want my worst enemy to be diagnosed with cancer, but I really wouldn’t want them to see Bad Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising. At least with the cancer diagnosis, there was that bit where we told a couple of black jokes and we all actually laughed. Plus cancer diagnoses don’t star Selena Gomez.

Bad Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising is on general release.

AL PACINO TO JOIN ROBERT DENIRO FOR DIRTY GRANDPA 2

HOLLYWOOD – Veteran Hollywood actor Al Pacino is to join Robert de Niro for Dirty Grandpa 2: Dirty Grandpas according to a statement issued today.

Al Pacino and Robert de Niro have teamed up in the past: the generational drama of The Godfather Part 2 and the diner confrontation in Heat being particular highlights. However, they are set to break box office records with their new comic pairing Dirty Grandpa 2: Dirty Grandpas.

Al Pacino popped into the Studio Exec Jacuzzi Spa last night to give us the gist:

Any chance I get to work with Bob, I take it. I’ve always admired his work and our careers have taken some might say parallel paths, only occasionally meeting.  When I saw Dirty Grandpa, I shouted ‘Whoa! Whoa! Hoo-har!’ because this was something I hadn’t seen for a while. Genuinely breaking new ground. People say Bob is sliding downhill, but it isn’t true, he’s looking around him at the culture and he’s making what he sees as the keystone of the culture. In the seventies that was Taxi Driver and Godfather Part 2, in the eighties it was Once Upon a Time in America and Raging Bull and now for the millennials he’s making Dirty Grandpa. If you don’t like it, don’t blame Bob. He’s just following the zeitgeist. As indeed am I.

Will you be joining him also in some David O. Russell films?

Please! Do I look absolutely desperate?

Zac Efron will also reprise his role as Jim, or Jason or whoever; and Dan Mazer will return to direct. John Phillips will once more be writing the ‘script’.

Dirty Grandpa 2: Dirty Grandpas will be released in 2018.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

DIRTY GRANDPA NOT AS GOOD AS RAGING BULL

HOLLYWOOD – The internet was shocked today to learn that Robert de Niro’s new film Dirty Grandpa is ‘not as good as Raging Bull.’

Film critics have almost unanimously asserted that the comedy starring Robert de Niro and Zac Efron – Dirty Grandpa – is not as good as Raging Bull.

Xavier Poulis of the World Film Critics Association was not alone in expressing his disappointment.

It’s really galling. Every time we go to a new Robert de Niro film we think this time it’s going to be great. This one is going to be the one that really knocks it out of the park, but it’s not even nearly as good as Raging Bull. It’s almost as if it’s terrible. I don’t know how this has happened.

Variety, The Hollywood Reporter, Deadline, The New Yorker, The New York Times, The LA Times, Slash Film and the UK Guardian all took the unprecedented step of issuing a joint statement.

Robert de Niro’s film Dirty Grandpa is not as good as Raging Bull, this much is clear. But what the public should know before they go and see this picture, is that it is not as good as The Deer Hunter either, nor The Godfather Part 2, nor Once Upon a Time in America, nor The King of Comedy, nor Goodfellas, nor Casino. It isn’t even as good as Cape Fear, We’re No Angels and Midnight Run. It’s not as good as Angel Heart or A Bronx Tale. So by all means go and see it, but don’t expect to see anything like what Mr. De Niro has provided in the past. Except perhaps Meet the Parents, Meet the Fockers etc.

Strangely, DirtyGrandpa has been hailed in France as Robert De Niro’s best film ever because of ‘post-modernism’.

Bad Grandpa is out now.

SETH ROGEN GOES ON FOOD DIET

HOLLYWOOD – Comedic actor and Steve Wozniak impersonator Seth Rogen opened up today to the Studio Exec about his radical food diet.

Seth Rogen has had a hard year with his appearance in a rare straight role co-starring with Michael Fassbender in Danny Boyle’s Steve Jobs and appearing once more alongside Zac Efron for Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising.

You look great Seth. What’s going on?

Well, I knew that this year was going to be a tough one for me. I had a lot of challenges to confront and frankly after The Interview I’d begun to take a new perspective on life. It was time to get myself in shape so I started to think about it properly.

So what did you do?

I went on a special food diet.

Sounds crazy, what does it involve?

You have to eat food. Breakfast: food. Lunch: food. Dinner more food.

Jesus!

I know it’s pretty strict. Of course I can, if I feel hungry in-between ‘meals’, I can have a snack but it has to be food.

So it’s basically food, food, food.

That’s right. Of course I can drink sometimes as well, but if I do it is only liquids, fluids, that sort of thing.

Sounds very strict.

It is but you can see the results and standing next to Zac Efron, I don’t have anything to worry about this time around. I think people are going to be really surprised.

This is Christian Bale like dedication to your craft.

It is on the scale of the Machinist. Yes. Or Night Crawler.

How do you keep your sanity?

Every week I have one cheat day.

Ah ha! And what do you have on your cheat day?

Wool. I just go and hit the wool stores. I buy like two barrels of that shit and I just wolf it down. But because of the food diet my body is fooled into thinking it’s food and so it doesn’t effect my diet.

Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising will be released in 2016.

 

BLOOD MERIDIAN GETS A DIRECTOR

HOLLYWOOD – The cult Cormac MacCarthy novel Blood Meridian is going to get a cinema outing after Tommy Lee Jones finally secured a director after years in development.

The rights to Cormac MacCarthy’s novel “Blood Meridian” were secured by Tommy Lee Jones many years ago, but due to the difficulty of the material no studio has been willing to back a version. A number of directors have expressed their wish to tackle it, including Ridley Scott and James Franco even made a twenty minute screen test of the material.

Tommy Lee Jones finally secured his dream director and told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY how it came about:

I’d always wanted Blood Meridian to have a certain look and there was only one director who I thought could truly bring that vision to the screen: Sam Peckinpah.

But Sam Peckinpah’s dead.

Noted. And that was what you might call a deal-breaker. But then I got talking to these cyro-genic engineers at a hotel bar and they told me how they could revive a long dead body and 3D print the dead man’s brain. All they needed was the head. So I dug up the body of Sam Peckinpah.

Jesus Christ.

An apt blasphemy considering the resurrection. But it was more like “Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia”. We got the head to the lab and printed off the brain uploaded it into the computer and asked if Sam would consider directing the movie. I can’t say he was particularly happy about being alive again, but we gave him some e-whiskey and he warmed to the idea.

This is the craziest story I’ve ever heard.

I know. But can you imagine? We’re going to get Blood Meridian directed by Sam Peckinpah. Now all we need is someone like William Holden, or Warren Oates to play the Judge. I’m too old for it now, but I know Zac Efron is in the frame. I don’t know the actor but they tell me he is gritty.

I think you’re going to need that shovel again.

Blood Meridian will be released in 2018. 

SONY GREEN LIGHT THREE NEW KIM JONG-UN BIOPICS

HOLLYWOOD – Sony are rushing three biopics about the life of our glorious leader Kim Jong Un, the Supreme Commander of North Korea, into production in the hope that this will appease the Guardians of Peace.

A spokesperson for Sony said that they had known nothing about The Interview and don’t even think it actually got made. She told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

You know Seth and James both toke the medical marijuana, so there’s a good chance they just smoked the budget and stayed in bed and then pretended to do the film. Those production stills look like Photoshop to me. Anyway that’s all bridge under the water now. What I want to talk about is how excited and thrilled we are to be making something that is finally going to give the world a more balanced view of Kim Jong-Un who, here at Sony, we revere kind of like a God.

So what films are in production?

We have Young Jong. This is going to be a co-production with Pixar and will feature the voice talent of Zac Efron as the Divine Leader when he was only a child. Here we’ll see how Jong was worshipped by his classmates and teachers and how he helped an old man fly a house with balloons.

That sounds like Up.

Yeah, we used some of the Up footage and out takes, but in this version the old man will largely be a passenger and it’s Jong-Un who does everything, as actually happened in real reality.

What else you got?

Next up we have Daniel Day Lewis in a new film directed by Steven Spielberg called Jong-Un. This is more a worthy historical biopic which will show Jong-Un in the crisis period of his life when his father was on the verge of death.

Will Daniel Day Lewis be employing his usual method technique to portray Jong-Un?

He already has been. You remember this year when no one had seen Jong-Un for a few months and then he came back but he was limping… well, I better not say anything else, but he was limping with his left foot, if you catch my drift.

Got it. And finally…?

And finally we have The Expendables 4. Kim Jong-Un has always been a big Sylvester Stallone fan and Stallone is making a new Expendables film but this time the ageing  mercenaries are called by a new charismatic leader to go to war with the evil empire of South Korea. Sylvester and Statham don’t have much to do in this film. They’re captured in the first act and it’s Kim Jong-Un who does all the fighting, killing literally millions and millions of people in an attempt to rescue them.

For more on  the Sony Hack READ HERE.

TWIN PEAKS NEW GENERATION ‘WILL APPEAL TO YOUTH’

HOLLYWOOD – Mark Frost and David Lynch’s cult TV show Twin Peaks is to return to television courtesy of Showtime and a re-imagining which will continue the story through the new younger generation.

David Lynch and co-creator Frost had already taken to Twitter to hint at a renewal of the show which ran for thirty episodes and a spin off movie, Fire Walk With Me, but the Dune director wanted to speak at length and EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:

I’ve been really into my Transcendental Meditation for ages now. And it has been satisfying, you sit there and become one with the universe more or less, but the downside of it is a. cramps and b. it gets really, really boring. So when Mark called me up and said he had some ideas for a new Twin Peaks I said, ‘let’s do this’.

What will the new show be like?

It’ll be the young kids. I don’t see how anyone can even remember who Kyle MacLachlan is anymore, so I want to go with Dale Cooper’s son, Rodney Cooper, played by Zac Efron. Rodney is called to the town when his dad goes missing and it turns out that the Son of Bob (Freddie Highmore), a mysterious serial killer might be responsible. Of course, the girl with the twig (Selena Gomez) roams the town weirdly as does Donna Hayward’s daughter Marcy (Ariana Grande). There’s going to be a lot more music in this version. I’ve been watching a lot of Glee and I think that will add something to the show, though Mark is a bit resistant.

Will this change of direction effect other aspects of the show?

Yes. Instead of Damn Fine Coffee, Rodney Cooper will say things like hashtag DFC.

Twin Peaks: The New Generation will be broadcast early in the Spring, 2015.  

ZAC EFRON TO STAR IN TAXI DRIVER REMAKE

HOLLYWOOD – High School Musical star Zac Efron is set to star as Travis Bickle in a remake of Martin Scorsese’s classic film Taxi Driver.

The talented 26 year old Bad Neighbors star told Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY that he had been preparing for the role his whole career:

Robert de Niro in that film is the reason I became an actor. I’ve done my bes tover the years to try and breakout of the squeaky clean image and do something truly challenging. Now that I see de Niro isn’t really that interested in acting anymore, I’ve decided to go back through his career and remake his movies for a new younger audience.

Taxi Driver will mark Seth Rogen’s directorial debut.

‘If the film is a success and I truly believe it will be,’ said Rogen. ‘Then we’re also going to make Raging Bull and The Mission, all starring Zac who is mad keen on getting some respect.’

Robert de Niro, who is set to star opposite Zac Efron in new ‘comedy’ Dirty Grandpa, expressed his delight at the idea.

I look back on what me and Marty did in 1976 and I’m very proud, but it was 1976 and we didn’t have the CGI or the likes of Ben Stiller, so how good can it be, right? When Zac suggested he remake it today I was all for it. I’m sure he’ll knock me off the screen and maybe he can do a couple of songs as well. ‘Are you talking to me?’ would make a great solo number I believe.

Taxi Driver will be released in 2017.

ZAC EFRON TO STAR AS YOUNG DIRTY HARRY

HOLLYWOOD – Following his success in broad Frat boy comedy Neighbors, Zac Efron is moving on to a more serious role, Harry Callaghan in a long awaited prequel to the Dirty Harry franchise first made iconic by Clint Eastwood.

Fresh from his moderate success with Jersey Boys, Eastwood will be taking a turn behind the camera and spoke EXCLUSIVELY to Studio Exec about the film:

During the first film which I starred in and Don Seigel directed in 1971, there was this joke that came up about Harry’s nickname. Why does everyone call you Dirty Harry? And he offers various reasons but we never really get the reason. That was the seed of this film, answering that question.

High School Musical and Parkland star, Efron said he was ‘very excited about the role’:

I’m playing Harry as he enters the police force. He’s just married and he is very idealistic. He’s a radical in some respects and has no time for the Vietnam War for instance. In some ways I pictured the film when I read the script as a reverse version of Serpico.

With a script by Seth Rogen and Ben Stiller, the new Dirty Harry film looks like the beginning of a new saga. ‘We’re hoping for at least a trilogy,’ said Efron.

Clean Harry will be released in 2015. 

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT ZAC EFRON

HOLLYWOOD – Zac Efron hits the screens in Neighbors, but what do we really know about him? Here, courtesy of the Studio Exec FACT team, are the FACTS.

1. Before becoming an actor, the High School Musical star created the financial services, commodities and energy company Enron, the failure of which in 2001 presaged the credit crunch to come.2. Before setting up Enron, Zac Efron, at the age of 2, 1989 was instrumental in crashing the Exxon Valdez while drunk and causing the 54th biggest oil spill in world history. 

3.  Following the collapse of Enron, Zac Efron got a starring role in the Disney movie High School Musical, impressing the producers with his ability to sing, dance, act and handle complex financial instruments. ‘He was one of the first insiders to really understanding CDAs,’ says girlfriend, Vanessa Hudgens. ‘He was a top flight manager and a quant. But Enron took it all out of him.’

4. The character Troy Bolton was initially based on the Anglo-American poet T.S. Eliot, but the part was completely rewritten to fit Efron’s baritone voice and many of the parallels were lost on the largely pre-teen audience.

5.  Neighbors co-stars, Seth Rogen and Zac Efron hate each other in ‘real life’ mainly for reasons of political differences. Zac Efron is a fascist whereas Seth Rogen is a neo-fascist. 

For more 5 FACTS Click around about HERE.

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES TO GET PREQUEL

HOLLYWOOD – As the whole world holds their collective breath in anticipation of the Michael Bay produced and Jonathan Liebesman directed Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles this Summer, news is already leaking of a prequel planned for next year: Pre-Teen Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Liebesman, who is slated to start directing the new film as soon as the first movie wraps, had this to say:

The new film will be an origin tale that will fill in the backstory of everyone’s favorite greenies. With the film we’re finishing up now, we’ve gone very dark. There’s a lot of stuff about needing heroes and some metaphysical stuff we put in there, all of which will go over the heads of many younger members of the audience. So we’re going to take out the subtlety and  the philosophy (a lot of which we lifted straight from Schopenhauer), completely eliminate the Swedish dialogue and we’re going to add some really dumbed down humor and a couple of explosions and we’re good to go. Oh and the next film will be in color. 

PTMNT will show how Michelangelo, Donatello, Raphael and Leonardo grew up, getting into mischief in the sewers of New York until they are recruited and guided by Splinter. Zac Efron (Donatello) said that the new film will be ‘much lighter. Nowhere near as serious as TMNT.’

Pre-Teen Mutant Ninja Turtles will be released August, 2015.

ZAC EFRON’S TOP 5 FILMS

1. Scarface.
 
I love Pacino and he’s such a bad ass in this. “ Say hello to my little friend”, totally cool. And that huge pile of Cocaine! I mean wow! That’s a lot of coke.

2. Boogie Nights
Dirk Diggler is the kind of role I’d love to play and Wahlberg is like, SHAZAM. I met Burt Reynolds once at the top of the Empire State building. He was dressed in goat leggings and wearing a flaming top hat. Mmm, on second thoughts that might have been a dream. This movie taught me many things. Like, I didn’t know that taking lots of coke could make you impotent. I did not know that.
 
3. Blow
 
That scene when Johnny Depp is walking through the airport with a suitcase full of coke to the song Black Betty. So awesome. You know most people think that Columbia is the largest producer of cocaine in the world but it’s actually Peru. It’s really cheap too, like you can get a gram for the price of a Big Mac. Some friends and I went to Machu Picchu last year it was amazing. At least I think it was. I can’t really remember.
 
4. Annie Hall
 
Such a sweet movie and Diane Keaton she’s like, WOAH. I’d love to do a Woody Allen some day. It’s very funny expect for that scene when Woody’s character sneezed and the ounce of cocaine went all over the place. I don’t really get the joke.
 
5. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
How many kids films are brave enough to tackle the issue of cocaine addiction? Man that movie was so sad I cried all the way through.
 

ZAC EFRON PICKS HIS NOSE

HOLLYWOOD – This morning the world of show business was in shock after it was revealed that sometime on Saturday afternoon Zac Efron picked his nose.

The news came as a terrible blow to his millions of fans who looked up to the clean cut High School Musical star. The incident took place at a stop light in the vicinity of Venice Beach. Bystander  Sharon Shlitz was out walking her fourteen year old daughter. 

I recognized him from the TV adverts for Parkland you know. And I was just pointing him out to Charlene. And Charlene said, oh, because she isn’t very responsive to verbal stimulus. And as she turned to look I saw the finger go up into the nostril. I’d say way up to the second knuckle.

Other eye witnesses claimed that he also ate the product of the rummaging but this was later dismissed as fabrication. Psychologist Dr. Peter Bryant claimed: 

Nose picking – although a disgusting habit – is actually quite wide spread and a car is a death trap for the nose picker. You see sitting in the vantage point of the car, you have the illusion that you’re invisible, whereas in fact you are quite visible because of these transparent apertures that we doctors call ‘windows’.  

The Hollywood community was quick to condemn what it saw as a breach of an unwritten rule. Nicole Kidman –  Efron’s co-star in The Paperboy – went so far as to say: ‘To think I pissed on him. Does the boy not have a handkerchief?’ And President Obama tweeted what was merely a two word tweet which read: ‘Mother. F*cker.’
Whether Efron’s career can survive the hit is yet to be seen, but hopefully other young people will have learned from this example of a young man whose fingers went where fingers are not supposed to go.

Parkland is out in theatres nationwide.