SLIGHTLY LESS CRAP FILM BEATS CRAP FILM AT THE BOX OFFICE

HOLLYWOOD – The figures are in for the weekend and the news is that a slightly less crap film has beaten a crap film at the box office.

The Memorial Weekend figures are in and X-Men: Apocalypse released by Fox has easily won over Disney’s Alice Through the Looking Glass, which performed disappointingly for anyone who likes to see unnecessary sequels to bad films financially rewarded. Although the eleventy-th X-Men film beat out its immediate rival, it didn’t perform as well as the last entry in the flaccid comic book series X-Men: Days of Future Past, leading some analysts to argue that perhaps people are growing tired of mediocre films based on comic books which are essentially for children. However, others have pointed to the fact that the film is still likely to make money and now the dream machines that are kept locked in each studio have now all been fitted so as to only convert properties into CGI rich franchises, it is unlikely that that the studios will want to change direction anytime soon.

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5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT MICHAEL FASSBENDER

HOLLYWOOD – He is one of the most exciting actors around, appearing in Slow West, Assassin’s Creed and a new version of Macbeth, but what do we really know about Michael Fassbender?

The Michael Fassbender FACT squad parachuted behind enemy lines last night, to get FACTS! Here they are:

1. Michael Fassbender has a large penis.

2. Michael Fassbender’s penis is half Irish and half German, a fact which led to Quentin Tarantino casting him in Inglourious Basterds.

3. The many failings of Prometheus could not be blamed on Michael Fassbender’s penis, which was the best thing in it.

4. Michael Fassbender’s penis is due to perform a one man show off Broadway. Details are unconfirmed but it is mainly believed to be stand up.

5. Michael Fassbender’s penis is attached to a versatile and talented actor who has been brilliant in Hunger, Shame and 12 Years a Slave as well as some films not directed by Steve McQueen, like X-Men: First Class and Frank.

For more FACTS click HERE.