SLIGHTLY LESS CRAP FILM BEATS CRAP FILM AT THE BOX OFFICE

HOLLYWOOD – The figures are in for the weekend and the news is that a slightly less crap film has beaten a crap film at the box office.

The Memorial Weekend figures are in and X-Men: Apocalypse released by Fox has easily won over Disney’s Alice Through the Looking Glass, which performed disappointingly for anyone who likes to see unnecessary sequels to bad films financially rewarded. Although the eleventy-th X-Men film beat out its immediate rival, it didn’t perform as well as the last entry in the flaccid comic book series X-Men: Days of Future Past, leading some analysts to argue that perhaps people are growing tired of mediocre films based on comic books which are essentially for children. However, others have pointed to the fact that the film is still likely to make money and now the dream machines that are kept locked in each studio have now all been fitted so as to only convert properties into CGI rich franchises, it is unlikely that that the studios will want to change direction anytime soon.

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CAREY MULLIGAN TO PLAY WOLVERINE

HOLLYWOOD – News from the X-Men universe has it that Carey Mulligan is to play the new Wolverine in X-Men: Apocalypse.

The 30 year old actress famed for her roles in An Education, Drive and The Great Gatsby will be taking over from Hugh Jackman, who has played James Howlett AKA Rogan AKA Wolverine for fifteen years, including 5 X-Men films and two stand alone Wolverine movies. A third Wolverine movie due out in 2017 and was rumored to be Jackman’s last appearance in the role but it looks now as if Carey Mulligan will be taking over.

A spokesperson for Fox told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

It is a sad fact that Hugh Jackman following a whole bunch of films – seven in total – will finally be hanging up his titanium claws, but we’re really excited to have found a replacement who will bring Wolverine to a whole new audience. Carey has that fresh faced exuberance and that lovely shy vulnerability that is there in the comic books and that Hugh, despite all his best efforts, singularly failed to bring to the screen.

Fox is hoping to change several of the main characters in a bid to compete with Marvel’s Avengers series and casting rumors have been rife. Ariana Grande is currently in talks to play a new version of Professor Xavier and Miley Cyrus looks like a possible Nightcrawler.

Mulligan herself said that she was ‘excited by the opportunity but also a little nervous of having to go up against Hugh’s super portrayal.’ She has already begun smoking cigars to prepare for the role and is due to have the surgery which will see her adamantium skeleton implanted.

How does she feel about having six inch razor sharp claws protruding from her knuckles?

‘Well, I’ll never be lost for a pair of scissors again!’ says the delightful Mulligan.

X-Men Apocalypse will be released in 2016 and Wolverine: Donkey Heaven will be out the following year.