Hollywood – The Studio Exec can reveal an open letter signed by dozens of Hollywood’s top movie stars will be published in various trade publications stating that Ryan Reynolds is exhausting. The letter is seen as an attempt by friends and loved ones of the Canadian movie star to just ‘give it a rest every now and then’. Not only does the letter state Ryan Reynolds is exhausting to be around but his constant meta commentary and breaking of fourth walls that aren’t there in real life is growing very thin.
Ryan Reynolds Is Exhausting
The Studio Exec can reveal extracts of the heart-breaking letter; “Dear Ryan, Please know that what we say in this letter comes from a place of love and support. We don’t mean to undermine you or make you feel bad. We all want you to be happy. But you will not find happiness with constant narration of your life to an audience that simply isn’t there.”
“You are more than tiny dick jokes, large dick jokes and knowing glances to a camera that isn’t there. Please remember that Ryan Reynolds is not a part to play. He is a man, a talented and funny man that can exist and thrive outside of staged Instagram spats with Hugh Jackman.”
You’re Not Deadpool
“The continual meta-commentary was kinda fun for a while in Deadpool and most of Deadpool 2. But it’s not a blueprint for real life. Ordering food in a restaurant takes hours with all of your cheeky asides over your shoulder. Don’t make us rethink the merits of what they did with your character in Wolverine: X-Men Origins.”
You’re Hurting Others
“Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson appears to be going down the same road, having seen your schtick and thought, ‘Kerching!’ It’s only a matter of time before he starts breaking more and more fourth walls and flexing his eyebrows at us. Please Ryan, don’t let this happen.”
Red Notice, The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard and Free Guy are separate films… apparently.
HOLLYWOOD – News from the X-Men universe has it that Carey Mulligan is to play the new Wolverine in X-Men: Apocalypse.
The 30 year old actress famed for her roles in An Education, Drive and The Great Gatsby will be taking over from Hugh Jackman, who has played James Howlett AKA Rogan AKA Wolverine for fifteen years, including 5 X-Men films and two stand alone Wolverine movies. A third Wolverine movie due out in 2017 and was rumored to be Jackman’s last appearance in the role but it looks now as if Carey Mulligan will be taking over.
A spokesperson for Fox told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:
It is a sad fact that Hugh Jackman following a whole bunch of films – seven in total – will finally be hanging up his titanium claws, but we’re really excited to have found a replacement who will bring Wolverine to a whole new audience. Carey has that fresh faced exuberance and that lovely shy vulnerability that is there in the comic books and that Hugh, despite all his best efforts, singularly failed to bring to the screen.
Fox is hoping to change several of the main characters in a bid to compete with Marvel’s Avengers series and casting rumors have been rife. Ariana Grande is currently in talks to play a new version of Professor Xavier and Miley Cyrus looks like a possible Nightcrawler.
Mulligan herself said that she was ‘excited by the opportunity but also a little nervous of having to go up against Hugh’s super portrayal.’ She has already begun smoking cigars to prepare for the role and is due to have the surgery which will see her adamantium skeleton implanted.
How does she feel about having six inch razor sharp claws protruding from her knuckles?
‘Well, I’ll never be lost for a pair of scissors again!’ says the delightful Mulligan.
X-Men Apocalypse will be released in 2016 and Wolverine: Donkey Heaven will be out the following year.