CORRECTION: MANIMAL MOVIE IS GO

HOLLYWOOD – Despite earlier reports to the contrary, Will Ferrell and Adam McKay are to produce a film spin off version of the cult 80s TV show Manimal in their relentless quest to just continuing f*cking up the world.  Continue reading “CORRECTION: MANIMAL MOVIE IS GO”

JOHN C. REILLY CONFESSES TERROR OF BEDS

HOLLYWOOD – Character actor and long time Paul Thomas Anderson collaborator, John C. Reilly admitted today that he suffers from an almost pathological fear of beds.

‘I don’t know what it is about them,’ the forty nine year old actor said. 

Maybe, it’s the way they’re always in bedrooms. I mean that in itself is creepy. And then they just lie their waiting for you to lie on them. I mean think about it. We sleep on these things. Sleep on them! All night. And yet we know next to nothing about the darned things.

Reilly explained that he uses a hammock most nights.

A hammock is honest and sturdy. Sailors sleep on hammocks so you know you’re in safe hands. When we’re filming on location I have this hammock that usually I can set up in the hotel room, but if I can’t, if the hotel room is too small, or something, then I get them to take the bed out and I sleep on the floor. 

The Magnolia and Will Ferrell co-star denied that the fear had anything to do with his childhood where he grew up over his father’s furniture store Beds Beds Beds Beds Beds, which later burned to the ground in a mysterious fire caused probably by a child. 

I actually think when you consider the facts, that perhaps I’m the sane one to have a quite reasonable distrust of these pillow laden fiends.  

John C. Reilly will be appearing in The Lobster due out in 2015. 

ZACH GALIFIANAKIS TO HOST ISRAELI-PALESTINIAN PEACE TALKS

HOLLYWOOD – Following his success in single-handedly saving President Obama’s Affordable Health Care Act, Zach Galifianakis has turned his attention to the Middle East and will next week be hosting a special Israeli-Palestinian Peace Conference Between Two Ferns

President of the Palestinian State Mahmoud Abbas will meet with Israeli leader Benjamin Netanyahu in a hope that where others have failed, the star of Hangover 3 and Due Date can succeed, bringing about a historic peace deal and finally ending this decades-long and blood-soaked conflict.  

Galifianakis told the Studio Exec exclusively:

Although vaguely interested in comedy, I’ve always been really committed to politics. I say always, I actually mean since I did The Campaign with Will Ferrell. I did some research. It was a bit dull so I got someone else to do it actually. But still…

What? 

Well, if you look at the mess professional diplomats and politicians have made of it, maybe it’s time for some lighthearted banter from America’s favorite bearded comedian.

Louis CK is involved?

Okay, second favorite. Jeez.

What will be different about your approach? 

I see someone like Tony Blair having a go and he just doesn’t seem credible to me. The man’s a warmonger. And the UN is full of people with names like Moon. It’s like Gwyneth Paltrow’s child is the Peace Envoy! Me, I can pretend to be both anti-Semitic and racist (ironically) and in that way connect, heal and unite.

Can you give us some detail?

I can complement Benjamin NetinYahoo! on his website.

I think that’s …

And I can tell  Mahmoud Abbas that I really love Dancing Queen.

You’re just punning weakly on their names.

I know. That’s the beauty of it. No one has ever tried that before. Punning weakly on their names is sure to work.

And if it doesn’t?

Louis CK will be waiting in the wings to take over.

Finally!

Israeli-Palestinian Peace Conference Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis will be broadcast on the Funny or Die website. And no, you can’t have the link.

ANCHORMAN 2: REVIEW

Anchorman 2 review
















1 minute

Ha-Ha

5 minutes

Ha

10 minutes

Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha

17 minutes

Ha-Ha

29 minutes

Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha

35 minutes

Chortle

47 minutes

Gufaw

52 minutes

Chuckle

61 minutes

Gufaw, muted chuckle

70 minutes

SWEET CHRIST ON THE CROSS THAT’S ONE OF THE FUNNIEST DAMN SCENES OF ALL TIME!

78 minutes

Mwhahahah

88 minutes

Ha

97 minutes

Mild snigger

101 minutes

Hmm…

109 minutes

Er…

115 minutes

(Cough)

120 minutes

Meh

THE END

OFFICIAL: ROBIN WILLIAMS EX-FUNNY

WHICH FUNNY MAN MAKES THE LEAST FUNNY FILMS?

The people have spoken. The State of the Union stands thusly. Robin Williams is the funny man who makes the least funny films. Of course it is fair to say that aside from the occasional hilarious exception – One Hour Photo – Williams films have also included the occasional straight role: Mrs Doubtfire for instance, which attempted to plumb the depth of a psychopathic mind.
Of the other contestants, Jack Black and Ben Stiller benefited from the confusion many felt that by saying he made unfunny film they would be endorsing the view that he was a funny man in the first place. On the phone today when given the results, I’m sorry to say that Robin wept like a man destroyed and said: ‘This is the last straw.’

MANIMAL MOVIE IS NO GO

HOLLYWOOD – It was announced earlier today that there are still no plans to make Manimal: the Motion Picture following discussions that went long into the night at Tom Hamperson’s house in Sacramento, California.

Tom was (admittedly) a bit stoned and mentioned to some of his old buddies that it’d be great if someone made a Manimal movie based on the unpopular TV series from the 80s. His friends (Todd, Zeke and Betney) were almost unanimous in declaring the idea ‘genius’. A quick search of the internet, however, revealed that no such project was currently in development and that led to a sudden drop in enthusiasm. Their mood however was revived by the discovery of some pop tarts in the cupboard. And Tom rolled another joint in celebration.

The original series was shown briefly in 1983 and featured Dr Jonathan Chase (Simon MacCorkindale), wealthy, young, handsome. A man with the brightest of futures. A man with the darkest of pasts. From Africa’s deepest recesses, to the rarefied peaks of Tibet, heir to his father’s legacy and the world’s darkest mysteries. Jonathan Chase, master of the secrets that divide man from animal, animal from man… Manimal! Glen A. Larson created the show by accident when he left the story machine he had invented on overnight and found the first eight episodes written in the morning. ‘In those days, I could do no wrong,’ said Glen. ‘So we went it into production before I sobered up.’ Asked about a movie Glen laughed a cackling laugh that seemed to endanger his health. 

Manimal will be released in 2016.