BENNY HILL BIOPIC MUSICAL – DAMIEN CHAZELLE DIRECTING

BREAKING NEWS – Wunderkind writer / director, Damien Chazelle’s next film will be a Benny Hill musical biopic. The Exec caught up with Chazelle to discuss his magnum opus.

 

Damien, what was it about Benny Hill that drew you to the project?

 

I’ve always loved that sophisticated English humor, y’know? There’s just nothing funnier than watching a middle-aged, fat, white guy chasing after scantily-clad young women. Especially if you speed it up slightly and put that funny saxophone music over the top. It’s a winner every time.

 

Do you not think that kind of humor is problematic these days?

 

Look, if chasing around after young women with hardly anything on is problematic, then I’m a wrinkly little old man. And you can keep slapping the top of my wrinkly, bold head. Plus, you don’t know who I have playing Benny Hill.

 

So, who is playing Benny Hill?

 

Well, I really wanted to capture that cheeky, everyman spirit that Benny had. Y’know what I mean? So I thought who is around currently who can bring all that. But I also need them to be able to dance. The movie has huge dance sequences, just like La La Land. They also need to be able to carry a decent tune.

 

Come on, who is it?

 

Ok. I’ll tell, But you have to promise to keep it to yourself. Lady Gaga.

 

I’m sorry?

 

Trust me. She has the acting chops to do it. We’ll stick her in a fat suit. Just like the one they used in Shallow Hal. It’ll be fucking dynamite. She’s going to write the music, with lyrics by Tim Rice. It can’t be sexist if we have a woman playing him.

 

Are you sure about that? You’ll still be depicting the same sexist jokes?

 

All we’re going to be doing is objectifying women as play things for middle-aged lecherous white men. How can anyone have a problem with that? We’ve questioned lots of focus groups in England, Florida, Alaska and Texas. They all loved the idea.

 

The Benny Hill Biopic Musical Begins Filming In The Fall.

NO DARTH VADER IN ROGUE ONE TRAILER

HOLLYWOOD – The new Star Wars anthology film Rogue One released a trailer, but fans were shocked that there was no appearance of Darth Vader.

The release of Star Wars: Rogue One in December is possibly the most widely anticipated movie of the Winter. And the release of a new trailer was greeted at first with excitement and anticipation. The Studio Exec sat down in front of the computer to scrutinize the new trailer and was left aghast:

There’s no Darth Vader, no Death Star, no Stormtroopers, no one mentions the Force or talks about the rebellion. It’s a complete failure. It’s just the guy from Whiplash, boxing and pretending to be Hilary Swank from Million Dollar Baby. It’s a complete joke. Gareth Edwards has totally dropped the ball on this one. It’s bullshit.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story will be released in December.

OUR OSCAR PREDICTIONS

HOLLYWOOD – Just in case you haven’t noticed, the Oscars are almost upon us, which I’ll be live tweeting, but until then the Studio Exec would like to offer 5 Oscar predictions.

Here are our Five Oscar Predictions in order of likelihood:

1. Pompeii will probably not win as many awards as I have hitherto predicted.

2. The team up of Kanye West and the Beastmaster will make for an electrifying show that will be blown even further into out of space by the arrival of Hawk the Slayer, Flash, the floating head from Zardoz and the planet Krull.

3. Birdman and Boyhood will be revealed to actually be brothers. Whiplash‘s J.K. Simmons will use his acceptance speech to criticize the orchestra. The Imitation Game will come out and the Theory of Everything will be disproved.

4. American Sniper will shoot Selma in a tasteless and ill thought out montage sequence.

5. Meryl Streep will win another Oscar and Reese Witherspoon, Rosamund Pike, Patricia Arquette, Marion Coutillard, Julianne Moore and Felicity Jones will kill her on stage and eat parts of her body to try and ingest her magic charm. (Then we’ll cut to commercial).

For more Oscars CLICK HERE.

OSCARS CEREMONY TO BE DIRECTED BY RIDLEY SCOTT

HOLLYWOOD – Ridley Scott is to direct the Oscars ceremony on the 22nd of February, featuring an exclusively white cast.

A spokesperson for the academy said:

We decided to take the ceremony in a new direction this year. Political correctness went mad the last few shows. We had Lincoln freeing the slaves, Django shooting the slave owners and 12 Years a Slave, being all about slaves as well. For twelve years. But now we have a black president and all that racism has been effectively dealt with so it’s time to get back to rich white people, mainly men.

So you called Ridley?

Absolutely. We thought that we couldn’t just pretend Selma didn’t exist although we tried our best. He came up with the idea of replacing the black cast with Joel Edgerton and Aaron Paul.

Fantastic!

Isn’t it? And although people are complaining about diversity, I’d say to them that the show is going to be diverse anyway. Look at Boyhood. White little boy, white big boy, white teenager, white young fella. What could be more diverse? Oh, and American Sniper, white guy shoots brown guys. What could be more topical!? Birdman, white guy worries about being too rich and successful. The Imitation Game, white guy wins the war. The Theory of Everything, white guy solves all the problems in the universe, especially Black Holes (that’s not racist is it?)

I don’t know.

Oh and my favorite. Whiplash. Two guys get incredibly pissy about perfecting jazz. And they’re basically white! That’s the twist.

For more Oscars news click HERE.

STUDIO EXEC: TOP TEN

HOLLYWOOD – Everyone is doing a top ten, so I’m doing a top ten, but I don’t know if it’s a top ten of the best films, the worst films, the most middling films: it’s a top ten of something. That’s all.

1. A Most Wanted Man. This is the top of the ten films that came out this year featuring a final performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman. If you weren’t pissed about PSH dying watch this and you’ll be pissed once more and depressed. A fantastic John Le Carré adaptation. Perhaps even better than the sprawling and unfocussed Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. Read the review here.

2. Boyhood. Richard Linklater’s weird sociological/anthropological experiment is a kind of epic Seinfeld episode, essentially a film about life itself and nothing at all. The bildungsroman is epic, rich and beautiful, and this from the man who brought us the wonders of the Sunset/Sunrise trilogy. And School of Rock. Read about Ethan Hawke’s new project here. 

3. Whiplash. Crash! Bang! Wallop! What a Picture! Miles Teller is brilliant as the young drumming student and so is J.K. Simmons as the sadistic teacher. For the review, Click Here.

4. Birdman. Michael Keaton is back and he is kicking ass in this superlative satire on the film industry, acting, theatre, journalism, YouTube, oh Jesus, everything. Read the review here. 

5. Pompeii. I didn’t see it but it’s supposed to be brilliant and there’s a chance it will win all the Oscars. Read about that here.

6. Interstellar. Christopher Nolan not only makes a film complete with worm holes, black holes and plot holes, he also spectacularly illustrates the uncertainty principle, how can someone so clever, in such a clever film, occasionally do things which seem so stupid. I went with it. Read about that here.

7. The Interview. I haven’t seen the film, but I’m going to have to. So thanks for that Kim Jong-un. I think you won round one. Read some of the stuff we wrote about it here.

8. The Guardians of the Galaxy. Marvel are now following the Pixar model of basically making old fashioned Studio era comedies dressed up as films for kids. Funny and clever and a bench mark for the Marvel house style. Click here to read about Chris Pratt’s celebrations.

9. The Nightcrawler and The Babadook and ’71: three cracking movies, all feature débuts, all fantastic with the promise of great things to come. Also all genre films. Here are the reviews of Babadook and Nightcrawler.  

10. Leviathan, The Look of Silence and Mommy: Just to prove I can read, these are the films that are in foreign which you might want to have a look at.  I saw them at the Cannes and Venice Film Festivals. Here are some reports from them.  

Happy Xmas, Happy Hanukka, Happy mid-winter atheism for those who still enjoy food and giving. 

5 FILMS WHICH WOULD BE BETTER WITH A COMEDY GIRAFFE

HOLLYWOOD – How many times have you been watching a good film almost ruined by the absence of a comedy giraffe?

Hundreds? Thousands? Even millions! Well, the Studio Exec FACT squad has been out in force with pencils and pieces of paper and have created a list of five films which would have been improved somewhat by the simple addition of a comedy giraffe.

1. Interstellar: Sure the visuals were stunning. Yes the black holes in the plot were irritating. Of course Anne Hathaway could occasionally change expression. But what ultimately brought many viewers of Christopher Nolan’s IMAX spectacular down to earth with a bump was the complete absence of an African even toed ungulate mammal with a wise cracking sense of humor. Scenes of action and tension could have been leavened with the humor of seeing a giraffe floating around in zero gravity, perhaps repeating the catch phrase in a comedy Brooklyn accent, ‘How did I get here?’ That’d even make Matthew McConaughey smile.

2. Whiplash: Yes CK Simmons gives an Oscar worthy performance. Yes Miles Teller is fastly emerging as on of the most interesting acting talents of his generation. But why couldn’t this tale of an obsessive jazz musician student locked in a poisonous relationship with his sadistic perfectionist teacher have included a pet giraffe that the student would have to keep in his New York apartment, despite his landlord’s strict ‘No Pets’ policy? Don’t have an answer? Neither do we.

3. Lucy: Luc Besson’s stupid action film starring Scarlett Johansson as a drug’s courier who accidentally becomes God, would have been improved by almost anything else happening. Given that, why not a comedy giraffe, who in a piece of cunning meta-comedy mistakes ‘Lucy’ for Scarlett Johansson, the star of We Bought a Zoo?

4. Noah: This Russell Crowe vehicle had giraffes, but they were as glum as he was in this glum fantasy drivel derived from some book called ‘The Bible’. There was no joking about with them, no amusing slapstick with droppings and finally Darren Aronofsky really dropped the ball when he forget to make them speak!

5. Madagascar: Now, I know what you’re going to say. Surely there was a comedy giraffe in Madagascar, the DreamWorks animated movie that was a hit with all the family. It starred Ben Stiller and Chris Rock as Alex and Marty but Melman the ‘comedy giraffe’ was voiced by David Schwimmer, thus nullifying any of the comic potential. The whole venture will have to go down in the history books as a noble effort, ballsed up by the dull one from Friends.

For more MOVIE FACTS Click Here.

WHIPLASH: REVIEW

WHIPLASH: Review – A young student of Jazz drumming accidentally finds himself in Full Metal Jacket.

‘I’ve got blisters on my fingers,’ screamed Ringo Starr towards the end of a poundingly murderous version of Helter Skelter. Anyone watching Damien Chazelle’s new film will know exactly how everybody’s second favorite Beatle felt.

Andrew (Miles Teller) is the young hopeful at a prestigious New York music school, who is called to join the band of acerbic but brilliant teacher Fletcher (J.K. Simmons). Here he is summarily ripped to shreds by the teacher in a series of diatribes which are hilariously nasty and spiteful. The overhanging question is whether this is all at the service of a relentless pursuit of perfection, or if the hate is there just for the sake of it. Perhaps, Fletcher’s sadism is more basically rooted than his high minded appeals to musical elitism. However, Andrew is sold on the idea and becomes increasingly complicit in his own self-destructive single-mindedness.

Following a superb turn in The Spectacular Now, Miles Teller has definitively arrived and with Whiplash arrived with a bang, crash and wallop. But not to be outdone – and mimicking some of the generational angst of the film, CK Simmons has now belatedly gone from being ‘oh him, I like him, he was in [sound of fingers clicking]’ man to CK SIMMONS.

For more REVIEWS click HERE!