HOLLYWOOD – He’s Alan Turing in The Imitation Game and Smaug in The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug, but who is Benedict Cumberbatch really?
We sent the Studio Exec FACT squad to England to collect the Benedict Cumber-FACTS.
1. Although exotic to American ears, in England, from whence Benedict Cumberbatch hails, the name Benedict Cumberbatch is the second most common name in the British Isles, beaten only by Engelbert Humperdink, ironically enough the stage name of Benedict Cumberbatch’s father.
2. Benedict Cumberbatch’s appearance in Star Trek Into Darkness was marked by tragedy. The reveal that he was in fact Khan was such a surprise for audiences that five hundred and seventeen people died of the subsequent heart attacks during screenings. The surprise was so strong that after the first five days J.J. Abrams decided to publicize ‘the best kept secret in Hollywood’ to avoid further deaths.
3. Robert Downey Jr. and Eddie Redmayne were both named in copyright cases brought against them by Benedict Cumberbatch claiming they had copied his work. Redmayne appeared as Stephen Hawking in the Theory of Everything, which Cumberbatch’s legal team claimed was a direct copy of Cumberbatch’s work in the BBC drama Hawking. Likewise Downey Jr. was accused of copying Cumberbatch’s work as Sherlock Holmes. Both cases were thrown out and Judge Norfolk reprimanded Cumberbatch for being ‘frivolous, though dreamy’.
4. In all of Cumberbatch’s film roles, the actor refuses to wear socks. The one exception to this was his turn in The Hobbit: the Desolation of Smaug in which if one looks carefully you can see that the gold hoarding dragon is wearing a pair of silk tartan socks.
5. Benedict Cumberbatch recently got married to the beautiful Sophie Hunter, an actor and theater director. Many hope this will bring to an end his tenure as the leader of the Hollywood based English actors’ club, the Jolly Bastards. The infamous group has been responsible for a whole series of crimes including swan sacrifice and old lady taunting. However, it was recently reported by den mother Emilia Clarke, that Sophie Hunter will also be joining the club and the horrors will continue.
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HOLLYWOOD – Hi, my name is Steven Spielberg, director of such great films as Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Jaws, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Lincoln, War Horse, Sugarland Express, Schindler’s List, Jurassic Park, Catch Me If You Can, Saving Private Ryan, Amistad, Hook, 1941, The Color Purple, Empire of the Sun, Munich and Always.
You might also know me from my executive producer credits on ER, Falling Skies, the Transformers series and many other TV Shows and films. Oh, I also kind of directed Poltergeist, but shhhhh.
But today I don’t want to talk to you as the director of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Tin Tin the Secret of the Unicorn and certainly not as the director of The Terminal … to tell you the truth I always try and forget that one.
No. I’m here to talk to you as a normal human being. A simple man. Cast from your mind Jurassic Park: The Lost World and Duel. Not to mention the beguiling science fiction fairy tales A.I. and E.T. And let’s not get into my cameo role in The Blues Brothers, or those documentaries I made about the Second World War and President Obama. And what’s the point in dredging up the segment of The Twilight Zone movie and those episodes of Columbo I was involved with? I was a young man, a kid and no one knew me. It just isn’t relevant to the point I want to make and this very important issue which I would like to shine a light on today.
So PLEASE sign the petition and remember to give generously. Thank You.
HOLLYWOOD – Following the moderate success of War Horse, Steven Spielberg has announced that two sequels will follow the adventures of Joey: Peace Horse and Glue Factory Horse.
Although Steven will not take the director’s chair he will oversee productions as an Executive Producer, leaving the shouting of ‘action’ and ‘cut’ to old friend Spike Lee.
Peace Horse has already got a script and some of the story is known as an early draft of the script by Frank Darabont leaked onto the Internet. Having survived for the horrors of the First World War, Joey and his best friend and owner, Albert return to the farm even as Georgia burns in the background. Joey is set to work ploughing the fields as the increasingly unsentimental Albert follows his father into depression and alcoholism. Following the death of his parents, Albert marries Nora, a girl who it turns out also has a horse, called Mimsy, who Joey falls in love with. However, Albert stating boldly that ‘we don’t need two horses’ shoots Mimsy in the foreface with his father’s shotgun, before in a drunken rage turning the gun on his wife and then himself.
The second film starts in the smoking ruins of the farm with David Thewlis – reprising his role as Lyons – frames Joey for the murder of Albert and Nora and sells Joey to a glue factory. What happens next is as yet unclear but the running time of the film (21 minutes) doesn’t look good for Joey.
Spielberg said ‘When we made the first War Horse no animal was harmed despite our best efforts. I’m hoping Spike Lee will manage finally to kill this goddam horse.’
War Horse 2 and 3 will be released in 2018 and 2019 respectively.