JACKIE CHAN TURNS UP TO THE OSCARS WAY TOO EARLY

HOLLYWOOD – Last night Jackie Chan turned up to the Oscars way too early.

Hong Kong action star Jackie Chan attended an Oscar ceremony three months before they were due to begin.

Having awarded himself a life-time achievement award, the Drunken Master himself spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:

The fact of the matter is they’re not going to give me an Oscar if I hang around until February. The traffic is always bad and the paparazzi are there too. Plus I think I have a birthday that weekend. Anyway, this way I get the Oscar and I have it for Christmas as well.

Star of over 500 films, Jackie Chan has broken more bones than Kevin James has eaten Doritos. The Oscar stands as a belated award for his sterling contribution to comedy, action and martial arts movie making.

Jackie Chan’s Waiting for Godot will be released in 2017.

 

JACKIE CHAN IS WAITING FOR GODOT

HOLLYWOOD – Kung fu master and top physical comedian Jackie Chan has signed on for Kenneth Branagh’s Waiting for Godot.

Based on Samuel Beckett’s smash hit stage play, the Rush Hour and Shanghai Noon star Jackie Chan will play Estragon, one of a pair of old geezers who stand around waiting for Godot – a mysterious figure – to arrive. ‘It’s a hilarious knockabout comedy,’ said Thor director Brannagh. ‘And that’s why I thought Jackie would be perfect for the role.’

The Drunken Master himself high kicked his way into the press conference and seemed genuinely pumped to be part of the cast which will also star Brannagh himself as Vladimir and include a cameo from Jet Li as Lucky:

I love Beckett and I can’t wait to see what Kenny is going to do with it.  I’ve wanted to work with him for years. Back when he was doing Hamlet I was going to play Claudius but there was a scheduling issue. Now I’m more determined and this will happen. The only thing I’m slightly disappointed about is that I didn’t get the role of Godot. That’s a peach.

Waiting for Godot will be released in 2017.