TRUE DETECTIVE SEASON 2: VAUGHN AND WILSON CONFIRMED

HOLLYWOOD – The second season of True Detective will star Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson in a surprise move announced by HBO for the hit show which will screen in June.

Show runner Nic Pizzolatto said the he was psyched to work with the two actors and had written the script with them very much in mind. He told Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

I know that we were talking about a lot of different actors and some other names were circulating recently – someone even said we should get that asshole from Alexander! Ha, but ever since I saw The Wedding Crashers I knew who the two most interesting American actors alive today were and I wanted to work with them. The Internship only confirmed my opinion further.

Can you tell us something about the story?

Yes. The tone will be different. I want to play to Vince and Owen’s strengths and I don’t want to retread old ground. So I’m making them two bachelor detectives. One is a bit of a lady’s man and a cynic, the other is a hopeless romantic always falling in love. They have to go undercover in a college where young girls have been hurt due to an illegal pillow fighting ring. Seth Rogen is penciled in to play the Sociology professor who masterminds the villainy, but that’s a spoiler so don’t print that.

Okay. The last show brought about the much talked about McConaissance. Is there any chance there will be Vaughnaissance? Or an Owensurrestion?

 Ha ha! No. I mean… No.

True Detective 2 will be broadcast June, 2015.

GRUMPY OLD MEN REBOOT: FIRST LOOK

HOLLYWOOD – The new re-imagining of the Jack Lemmon/Walter Matthau classic Grumpy Old Men gets its first poster featuring stars Liam Neeson and Denzel Washington.

Famous for their more serious dramatic/action roles in films such as Malcolm X and Taken, Liam Neeson and Denzel Washington both expressed their delight at being involved in the Grumpy Old Men remake.

They spoke EXCLUSIVELY with the Studio Exec.

So what attracted you to the project?

Liam Neeson: We’ve both done remakes in the past. I’ve done The A-Team and Denzel did The Equalizer and…

Denzel Washington: The Taking of Pelham 123.

LN: Right. But we don’t get much opportunity to do comedy. People look at us killing people in our films and they don’t connect that with comedy for some reason.

DW: Cameron Crowe has been trying to get a remake of the film off the ground for years and the script has been circulating. I was looking for something to do with Liam because I’ve admired him as an actor ever since I saw Krull.

LN: For me, I became a big Denzel fan after watching Ricochet. That was one hell of a movie. I pointed at the screen and said ‘I want to do that’.

How did you divide the roles?

DW: Liam was already attached to play John Gufstafson, which was Lemmon’s role. But that was perfect for me because I’ve always seen myself more as a Walter Matthau man. I’ve got the same hangdog looks.  So I took to the role of Max really well.

LN: When I was re-watching the original I noticed that John was kind of a handy man and I thought, I too have a particular set of skills. And so that made my mind up really.

How will the new film differ from the old film?

DW: No one wants to see a carbon copy. What’s the point of that?

LN: Right. In the original, John and Max are both basically bitter old men arguing about the affections of an attractive neighbor Ariel. They spy on each other and try to sabotage each other’s plans.

DW: In our version I’m ex-CIA.

LN: And I’m ex-Secret Service.

DW: And we both love Ariel, playing by Melanie Griffith.

LN: But terrorists have kidnapped her.

DW: We need to forget our differences and team up to kill the terrorists, evade the police commanded (as ever) by Forest Whitaker and save Ariel.

Wow. It doesn’t sound like a funny premise.

LN: Funny? Why on earth would it have to be funny?

Because it’s a comedy.

DW: Comedies don’t have to be funny.

LN: Look at This Means War.

Yes, but...

DW: Or anything with Vince Vaughn in.

LN: He’s made hundreds of comedies and not once have I laughed.

DW: Good point Liam.

LN: Thanks Denzel.

Grumpy Old Men will be in cinemas in 2016.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor

JIM CARREY JOINS TRUE DETECTIVE SEASON 2

HOLLYWOOD – Following the news that Vince Vaughn, Owen Wilson and Rachel McAdams have all been cast for True Detective Season 2, the Studio Exec can confirm that Jim Carrey will be joining them in the new HBO show.

According to sources close to the production (it was show runner Nic Pizzolato but he made us promise to be discrete), Jim Carrey has approved the script and will be filming his scenes early next week.

Nic the anonymous source said:

As everyone already knows, we have decided to completely change this season. Not only are the characters going to be different, so is the story and the tone. Although it takes place in the same universe and there will be strands and possible cameos to connect the two seasons we want to do something that is so out there that people will be really knocked over. They’ll say ‘What the F*ck?’ and we’ll say ‘Oh. Yeah’.

What is the Dumb and Dumber star going to contribute?

We’d like to say madcap rubber faced comedy, but having seen Mr. Popper’s Penguins I think we’ll just be happy if there’s some rubber faced nonsense that’ll have to do.  The think I love about Jim is though there is this ostensible humor, at its root there is a Lovecraftian darkness of unspeakable horror and grief, a loathing for the world and all life and a hopelessness that makes Rust Cole seem like Steve Guttenberg. Steve Guttenberg… hmmm. Now there’s a thought.

True Detective Season 2 will be broadcast sometime in 2015.

OWEN WILSON TO UNPURSE LIPS IN 2015

HOLLYWOOD – Actor and comic genius Owen Wilson is undergoing surgery that will permanently unpurse his lips by 2015.

Doctor Andrew Cardaydigan spokes EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec:

This is usually a very simple procedure, but Mr. Wilson unfortunately has been pursing his lips permanently ever since Bottle Rocket, Wes Anderson debut film from 1996. Since then his whole career has consisted of pursing his lips, although he did take a brief hiatus for Behind Enemy Lines, but no one actually saw that.

Is the procedure dangerous?

It shouldn’t be normally. No. But with Wilson, you see, all the muscles around his mouth, his jaw, even as far down to the muscles along his flank and groin, are braced to create this amazing expression like someone is about to sip a strong lemony drink through a straw. And those muscles because of this activity have become atrophied. There is a danger that his whole head could make a wet sucking noise and disappear into the chest so that only a shock of that lovable dirty straw mop top would be visible from what would be – admittedly – a gory neck hole.

F*ck!

Absolutely. But on the bright side, nothing can be as disgusting or abhorrent as Marley and Me.

Point taken.

Owen Wilson will next appear in True Detective Season 2 next to old pal Vince Vaughn. For more on that story click here. 

AWARDS SEASON TO BLAME FOR DROP IN FILM PRODUCTION

HOLLYWOOD – The major Studios have come out in a united front to combat the menace of Awards Season, which they say is severely hampering actual film production.

An insider at Fox said, ‘We just can’t get films made at the moment. It starts in November and goes all the way through to February and it’s non-stop.’

A colleague from Universal agreed:

We’re constantly fighting to get actors to clear their schedules. Matthew McConaughey, since the McConaughey-eissance, is impossible to get on the line. Ditto Tom Hanks. And it isn’t just actors, Alfonso Cuarón took seven years to make Gravity, but it’ll be another  seven years before he gets onto his next film, he’s so busy walking around collecting gongs for this one. 

Paramount also butted in:

Why can’t everyone be like Woody Allen? NO, not in THAT way! I mean… Oh Jesus. When Ronan Farrow sees this, he’s going to Twi-zerk. 

Independent analysts, however, responded that although there is a definite drop in production over this period, the Studios easily make up for the losses by churning out material that will never bother the attention of the Academy. An insider backed up this conclusion with the observation:

Around this time of year, there’s always a drop off and people are wandering around the back lots a bit with nothing to do. Except for Vince Vaughn, Adam Sandler, Owen Wilson and Kevin James. Those boys just keep their heads down and knock out hit after hit after hit of un-award-worthy bilge.

For more Oscars coverage CLICK HERE.

GOLDEN GLOBES: THE INTERNSHIP BRUTALLY IGNORED

HOLLYWOOD – As the Golden Globes 2014 come to an end, shocked faces were evident everywhere. Victory speeches seemed subdued; champagne was glugged in thirsty desperation rather then sipped; laughter was hysterical and shrieking. The elephant in the room was the total lack of nominations and therefore awards for Shawn Levy’s The Internship.

The knockabout 40 something comedy epic stars modern day Laurel and Hardy Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn, playing two hapless salesmen who managed to wangle an internship at an unnamed internet company called Google. Theories were rife about why it slipped through the nomination net. Industry watcher Xavier Poulis commented:

Jealousy, envy and the sense that the film was so big, so important that awards would actually in some way belittle it, trivialize what was the Zeitgeist moment of 2013. 

Owen Wilson speaking from his Malibu home in Malibu was philosophical:

I think it was Kierkegaard who once said ‘You don’t win awards for crowd pleasing comedies about internet companies starring two of the most loveable rogues who were in The Wedding Crashers‘. It was in Fear and Trembling, or the Concept of Anxiety. Either/Or. Anyway since the disappointment a few years back with Marley and Me, I don’t even go to these things any more. 

Some laid the blame squarely at the feet of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association but spokesperson Jonathan Bowels said:

The problems were manifold and specific with The Internship. It wasn’t strictly speaking a drama and yet at the same time as a comedy it seemed too important to pigeon hole it just as that. As for the lack of actor’s nods for Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson, I believe no one could decide between them and so went for their third choices.

 On an interesting side note if you google ‘Golden Globes The Internship’ you just come up with page after page of high definition images of dog turd.

Owen Wilson’s next film Søren and Me will be out in 2015. 

VINCE VAUGHN RETIRES

LAS VEGAS – Vince Vaughn has retired from ‘acting’, effective immediately. 

In a personal statement released by his agent Uncle Bobby, Vaughn said:

I’m sick of it. I’ve not been interested since Swingers, which was money you have to admit, but Christ since then it’s been one horrific atrocity after another. 
Vaughn cited his final decision to have been motivated by his friend and colleague Owen Wilson:

I noticed that while we were making that Internship pile of shit that Owen was becoming just like me, an unfunny chubby lump of jizzy testosterone with no comic timing or brain sense remaining. Owen used to be hilarious but he hasn’t made a truly funny film since Behind Enemy Lines. And it’s my influence. It happened to Ben Stiller after Dodgeball. I can’t do this to my friends. I can’t drag them down with me. 

Vaughn’s resignation was greet with almost universal celebration, with the exception of Jack Black who said: ‘I think Vince is hilarious.’ 

The Business Trip released in 2014 will be his last film. 

VINCE VAUGHN TO LAUNCH COMEDY CAREER

HOLLYWOOD – Vince Vaughn announced yesterday that he is going to try his hand at comedy in The Internship, which co-stars Owen Wilson.

The forty seven year old Vince Vaughn told the Studio Exec: ‘I’m tired of the heavy roles I’ve been playing of late and I want to do something a little lighter. The world is depressing enough already, am I right?’

Vaughn’s career began promisingly enough with the bleakly beautiful Swingers, but soon his CV was checkered by depressing film after depressing film, such as The Wedding Crashers, The Break Up, Dodge Ball, Uncle Lover and The Watch. In each film fans of Mr. Vaughn were treated to the same performance of a washed up Lothario with delusions of wit and buckets of self-hatred, driven on to stupidity and excess by a massive structuring absence where his soul is supposed to be. His one break from depressing high drama was the light hearted rom-com Psycho in which he hilariously stabs Anne Heche to death (SPOILER for fifty years ago). Vaughn explains his change of heart:

I knew that perhaps I’d gone too far with the serious material when I bumped into Michael Haneke at a single’s night and he pretended not to know who I was.

Vaughn justifies his choice of depressing material:

America is a sick depraved patriarchal society, run by bone headed men who think that the words ‘rape’ and ‘culture’ go together. My work is an expose of the virulent sore that festers at the core of 21st Century masculinity. That said I’m hoping this next film will prove I can do comedy. Hey, there’s a first time for everything.

The Internship is available.

OUTLAND REMAKE PLANNED

HOLLYWOOD – Sean Connery is set to star in an Outland remake to be directed by Duncan Jones, the Moon and Source Code director and son of ‘Rock Star’ Elton John, or David Bowie.

Peter Boyle is also set to return in the remake as well as Steven Berkoff, who has said that his performance in the 1981 masterpiece marked the zenith of his career.

The original film – directed by Peter Hyams – is set on Jupiter moon of Io and tells the story of a lone marshal’s attempt to impose order on the mining colony, in a High Noon – like stand off. A dangerous drug given to the miners to improve production is causing psychotic episodes and the Marshal is the only man who seems to care.

Jones told the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

This is going to be a shot for shot remake. I want it to be as close to the original as it can possibly be. I’m not interested in adding anything at all. I don’t want any CGI, or jokes. I want the original cast as far as possible. This is going to be like Gus Van Sant’s version of Psycho, except it isn’t going to have Vince Vaughn in it and it is going to be good. We have alerted authorities and Colin Farrell is being kept away.

Studio Exec has learned that there is rival remake with Shoot ‘Em Up director Michael Davis at the helm. However, we hope that this is just some kind of parody film site wheeze.

The Outland Remake will be released in 2016.