VENICE – The Venice Film Festival kicks off and here are five things you need to look out for or there is a distinct possibility you will die.
1. Birdman is the opening film of the festival and will be celebrated on the red carpet with the entire cast pretending to be birds. Michael Keaton will be a parrot, Emma Stone an emu and the ever dependable Edward Norton is expected to show up as a penguin.
2. Lars Von Trier will be showing his director’s cut of Nymphomaniac which is rumored to last three days and will feature Christian Slater’s penis. After the screening, Von Trier will be burned alive in a huge wicker phallus on the beach.
3. Al Pacino and Ethan Hawke are both appearing in two films and are expected to make much of this. Boasting about it and making silly asses of themselves as they try to impress girls. James Franco however is going to make three films while at the festival and therefore will beat everyone.
4. The jury is led by French composer Alexander Desplat who was named after a sound effect in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.
5. Although the Golden Lion is not real gold, it is a real lion. Sofia Coppola was actually eaten by the lion when receiving the award for Somewhere. Unfortunately, she was regurgitated.
Studio Exec will be tweeting and blogging from the Lido from The Venice Film Festival from 27th August to 6th September, 2014.