SETH MACFARLANE ADDRESSES UN ON BOOBS

NEW YORK – Following a rousing feminist speech last month by Emma Watson on the role of women in society, Seth MacFarlane also received an opportunity to address the UN and chose to use his role as Good Will Ambassador to launch an impassioned plea to joke about and ogle women’s breasts.

The writer and director of Ted and Family Guy told a packed session of the General Assembly:

Yeah, I’m into feminism and all that. Sure! Equal rights? That’s cool. I’m a liberal guy. Especially, if by liberal, you mean someone who likes to get stoned often and look at women’s breasts. Ha ha! No but really. I’d like to test those Bechdels. Ha! I mean are you with me, fellas? I know my man Ban-ki Moon is! You see comedy has come a long way since the good old days where you can joke about your mother-in-law. Everyone’s a feminist! Take Beyonce. I mean please, take Beyonce, ah ha, yeah.

[SILENCE]

Erm. It’s like when I did that song at the Oscars about wanting to see the tits of all of those actresses, even Jodie Foster’s in The Accused and that was during a – ahem – rape scene.

[Loud protests from the Scandinavian countries]

But I got away with it, because I’m being IRONIC! Like when I’m mildly racist in Ted. Irony. That’s the only way to beat ISIS. That’s what beat Hitler. And that’s what brings the world peace and feeds the hungry. Well, you’ve been a great General Assembly. Try the veal.

[DROWNED OUT BY BOOS]

In response to the angry protests by many member states, Ban-ki Moon apologized for inviting Mr. MacFarlane to address the assembly, saying that ‘We all got stoned last night and thought it would be a totally crazy idea. I now see that was wrong.’

Ted 2: the Rwanda Years will be released in 2015.