TOY STORY 4 WILL BE LIVE ACTION

HOLLYWOOD – John Lasseter announced yesterday that Toy Story 4, the unwanted sequel to the perfect Toy Story trilogy will be Pixar’s first live action film.

Lasseter spoke to the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY:

We are very excited in doing new things at Pixar. A few years ago we wouldn’t have even contemplated doing sequels, with the exception of Toy Story, now it seems like we do nothing but. Anyhoo, in the spirit of wanting to do stuff we’ve never done before I thought: what if we did a live action film?

Will it be the same cast?

Yeah, I mean no. Not really. The idea is that Woody and Buzz are really old now. So I thought we could have Clint Eastwood play Woody and George Clooney could play Buzz Lightyear. After all, he’s got the suit from Gravity already and his voice is exactly the same as Tim Allen’s and let’s face it Tim’s not so easy on the eye. I mean Home Improvement? He could do with some face improvement! Ha ha ha ha. No, that’s not really funny.

What do you say about the reaction many people have had?

That they think Toy Story 4 is a great idea?

Uhm. No. That they think you’re tinkering with perfection.

Oh. Yeah. Well, that’s why I’m doing it.

Come again?

I have been studying the Navajo culture. And they have an idea that really struck me. The idea is that if something is perfect it takes part of your soul. So you have to make sure that anything you create isn’t perfect. There has to be inbuilt imperfection. Well, Toy Story and Toy Story 2 and 3 are kind of perfect. And the funny thing is, I feel like my soul has been going. I don’t understand. Ever since I started working for Disney. It’s like it’s being chipped away from inside. So I’m going to make the trilogy an imperfect quadrology.

That’s crazy.

Is it? Francis Ford Coppola’s soul shrank and shrank. Then he made Godfather Part III and boom! You should see the size of his soul now. It’s boggling.

Toy Story 4 will be released in 2017.

CLOONEY TO STAR IN AND DIRECT LIVE ACTION TOY STORY

HOLLYWOOD – Following the upcoming unmitigated disaster of his ‘comedy’ The Monuments Men, undeterred George Clooney has signed on to direct and star in another comedy: a live action version of Pixar classic Toy Story.

The Leatherheads director told Studio Exec he was psyched for the role:

I think in a sense I’ve already played Buzz Lightyear in Gravity and so in a way my career has been leading up to this. There’s something of Ulysses [Everett McGill from O Brother Where Art Thou?] in Buzz’s self-deception. And although no one noticed at the time, I was totally riffing off of Tim Allen’s performance in Solaris

The part of the cowboy Woody remains uncast, although it is confirmed that Tom Hanks has ruled himself out of the role. Clooney was philosophical:

Ideally, Tom would have been great, but he feels he’s done it. Then I thought of Woody Allen or Woody Harrelson, even Rachel Evans Wood but with those choices I think I was just fixating on the name. I suppose my dream actor would be Ryan Reynolds. His acting just cries out Woody, but he’s so in demand right now it would be hard to get him. Not for his acting, by the way but for this pool cleaning service he runs. 

Toy Story: The Motion Picture will be released in 2015.