GEORGE LUCAS ANNOUNCES TOMB RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK IS GO

HOLLYWOOD – Lara Croft and Indiana Jones meet in a Tomb Raider movie to come.

Today George Lucas confirmed that Lara Croft and Indiana Jones will meet in a new Tomb Raider film, following the debut of Alicia Vikander in the role of the video game hero. Lucas spoke excitedly with the Studio Exec, spraying bits of Pringles everywhere.

Alicia is just amazing and Harrison is getting on. So the idea is we have them team up. Harrison does the cerebral stuff and Alicia kicks ass and gets into scrapes.

How does Steven Spielberg feel about this?

I’m going to be taking the chair for this one.

You’re directing it?

Yes. I don’t want to. I want to do small art films. But I can hear all the people after Force Awakens and Last Jedi shouting from behind the fence: ‘Come back George! Show these bozos how it’s done!’

What’s the story?

Indiana Jones finds out that the Ark of the Covenant has been stolen and he is the only one who can get it back. But – importantly – he has a bad back. And that’s where Lara comes in. She has some daddy issues, so she takes to Indy straight away.

This sounds..

Great! I know.

Tomb Raiders of the Lost Ark is filming right now.

CHRIS PRATT TO PLAY THE NEW LARA CROFT

HOLLYWOOD – Popular video game heroine from the 1990s Lara Croft originally played by Angelina Jolie is to be revived in a new film of Tomb Raider starring Chris Pratt as the pneumatic adventurer.

Chris Pratt has confirmed that he will be playing Lara Croft in a new film starring the Tomb Raider.

Chris Pratt spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec about the new film:

Initially, Alicia Vikander was tapped to play the role but following the success of the casting of Tilda Swinton as the Ancient One and the girl power Ghostbusters, the filmmakers thought they would go with a revolutionary new choice. Me! I was great in Jurassic World and fantastic in Guardians of the Galaxy and so Lara Croft was like a slam dunk with my affable way.

Director Roar Uthaug told the Studio Exec, ‘We’re really pleased to have Chris. Originally, we were thinking of Daisy Ridley and Alicia Vikander. They’re great, they’re women, and the British accent wouldn’t be a problem, but Chris took a piece of shit like Jurassic World and made that baby fly.’

Lara Croft will be released in 2018.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.