BRENDAN GLEESON ‘NO MORE BIT PARTS’

HOLLYWOOD – Irish character actor Brendan Gleeson today said that he would only be accepting scripts where he has the starring role.

Brendan Gleeson – to be seen in Ron Howard’s latest In the Heart of the Sea – has announced that he will no longer be considering bit parts in movies.

He came by the Studio Exec bungalow to get some stuff off his chest.

You know Exec, I’ve been in this game a long while. All the way back to The Field in 1990. And since then I’ve racked up a healthy number on the old IMDb there. About seventy feature films in all and a shit tonne of telly as well. But the thing is the vast majority of those films, I’m just a bit part. I have a speaking role of course and I get to do my stuff but mostly there’s some other tall shite hogging the scenes, getting all the lasses and making off with the loot.

That’s terrible.

I know. At first I didn’t mind so much. I was happy to that there Hollywood. Swimming pools, movie stars, you know how it is. The work was good and I was usually done in a week or two. But I’m always Mel Gibson’s fat mate, or Tom Cruise’s superior officer, or one of Harry Potter’s teachers. I even got cuckolded by that thin glass of water Orlando Bloom in Troy.

I remember.

And I wanted to be doing more. I got a chance in The General and I really enjoyed it and again with The Guard and Calvary. But these parts were far and few between. So now I’ve just decided, feck it. I want to be a proper movie star and that’s that.

But you’re a really respected character actor.

I am so. And I know that. But my old mate Tom Wilkinson came over the other Saturday and we got to talking because he basically has the same problem. If anything it’s worse for him because I get the scripts first and he can only do those I don’t want to. Anyway Tom was saying ‘you’re a great actor big man. You should be going for the leading man roles more, so you should’ and I thought, he’s not wrong. At first, I was reluctant. ‘What about all the small parts, the villains and what not that they want me to play?’ but Tom said he’d take those on and not to worry a lick.

Brendan Gleeson will next be appearing in Bond 25.

HP LOVECRAFT’S FILM REVIEWS: SELMA

ARKHAM – H.P. Lovecraft turns his jaded eye toward Oscar hopeful and moving civil rights drama Selma.

Many are the horrors that have been projected upon the silver screen in the fetid darkness of the movie house, many the insane disgusting terrors that have sent audiences shrieking into the starless night, many the perverse sadistic twisted eldritch tales that confound belief and set the soul a-shiver but none have frozen my blood quite so deeply as the terrifyingly unspeakable nightmare that is Selma.

Set in the beautiful and peaceable environs of the southern states of this our United States, all seems well with the world. The races are sensibly separated and all know what beholds their duty and station. But a dark terror is lurking and a crazed leader with a hypnotic voice and baleful stare is elected ‘KING’ of his dusky brethren and with his twisted obsession and murderous need for ‘equality’ leads the benighted masses, gripped in his insane folly towards confrontation with the restrained and peaceable forces of law and order. A wonderful Tim Roth is the hero of the piece who is the Governor of the land of Alabama. Tom Wilkinson plays the President Lyndon Johnson, who fain would stall the black man in his fatal designs but who is weakened by his perverse love of a familiar demon (unseen) called Ladybird!

However, Oscar-worthy would be the performance of David Oyelowo as the infernal charismatic leader whose gentle cadences are but a covering for foul and depraved intentions. Fortunately, the Oscars is one of the few institutions which maintain strict segregation in accordance with the sensible strictures of the color bar.

For more of H.P. Lovecraft’s Movie Reviews CLICK HERE.hp lovecraft

THE BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL UNRATED VERSION

LONDON – A new extended hardcore version of The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is to be released on blu-ray and DVD later this week, which will include scenes of unsimulated sexual intercourse, S&M orgies and animal torture.

The Director’s Cut comes with a special warning that the contents are only suitable for an adult audience. The film’s director John Madden said it was an opportunity for him to go back to ‘the pure vision of sex and violence of the novel’ and which he claimed was massacred by the editing team for commercial motives. Madden said:

The marketing people got hold of our film and they saw Judi Dench and Maggie Smith and Bill Nighy and they decided to go after the grey dollar basically. Out went the orgies, out went the savage violence, the scenes of necrophilia and the amoral and extremely cynical view of racial relationships between the white English middle class and the Indians. What we were basically left with was something that was twee and utterly forgettable. They went from Pasolini to passe.

Judi Dench and Tom Wilkinson have both expressed their delight that the scene where they murder a monkey for fun has been restored. ‘It sums up the nihilism of our characters,’ said Dame Judi Dench. ‘I think it’s utterly delightful.’ 

The Best Exotic Marigold Hostel Unrated is available to buy on DVD and Bluray and Digital Download from iTunes.

RAY WINSTONE AND TOM WILKINSON FIGHT IN A CARPARK

HOLLYWOOD -British character actors Ray Winstone and Tom Wilkinson were arrested in the early hours of Friday morning when police found the pair battered and bloodied having apparently fought in a car park behind Barnie’s Burger Grill in West Hollywood.

Friends of the two actors immediately leaped to their defense saying that bare knuckle fights were a regular occurrence. 

Richard E. Grant, who arrived at the police station to bail out his friends, spoke to waiting reporters:

Tom and Ray are best of friends, even though they are often up for the same roles. A party isn’t a party for the Jolly Bastards if at some point Ray and Tom don’t strip down to their undies and go at it, like they were back at the illegal East End boxing clubs where they first made their reputations. The number of times I’ve had to sew Ray’s ear back on…!

However, some witnesses said the fight seemed anything but friendly. Barnie’s regular, Donna Flagrance said:

The limey began to rail at the other limey, something about why doesn’t he get on Noah’s boat and wouldn’t let up, though the other limey was getting obviously upset and started shouting something about wanting ‘The Full Monty’. Before anyone could stop them they had both stripped down to their knickers and were knocking the stuffing out of each other.  

Ray Winstone and Tom Wilkinson both refused to talk with the press but have been cautioned.