FAN WRITES LETTER TO TERRENCE MALICK ASKING HIM TO STOP

HOLLYWOOD – A fan has written Terrence Malick a letter asking him to stop making films.

With the release of Song to Song, Terrence Malick continues his race to the bottom with another star-studded wander fest. 75 year old Ayrton Conseesee – a lifelong Malick fan – felt moved to write the following letter:

Dear Mr. Malick,

I have been with you from the beginning. I remember the excitement I first felt when I saw your debut movie – Badlands – starring then unknown Sissy Spacek and Martin Sheen. What amazing talent is this!? You turned a tawdry tale of a serial killer and his girl into a meditation on life and childhood and nature and America’s innocence. With Days of Heaven, we were once more in a period of American history and following the little known Richard Gere into a world of almost Greek tragedy. The film was stirring in the lyricism of its images and the beauty of the soundtrack.

Then came the hiatus at which point your reputation grew. The Thin Red Line showed that your power had not diminished. And even The New World gave us a new version of American innocence and its loss.

The problem seemed to start when you decided to swap history for autobiography and your innovations staled into traits.

Tree of Life was visually unbelievable but one occasionally longed to stop the ever moving camera and to allow the characters to actually speak to each other. To have dialogue. Without conventional blocking, your actors actually became more stilted as they wandered about not knowing quite where to stand.  Instead of bringing in fresh faces you were now able to command true star power with Brad Pitt. This didn’t always benefit the film. To the Wonder had Ben Affleck in it! Knight of Cups starred Christian Bale. It was like you were collecting Batmans. 

Song to Song has followed swiftly on and this is with a documentary in the middle, which I also saw. It looked like a reel they put in a TV store to convince you that 4K is worth selling a limb to buy. 

And now Song to Song. Please Mr. Malick would you stop making films. It’s like supporting a terrible football team. You know they’re going to lose but you have to watch anyway. Or buying a Bob Dylan album in the 80s. Which gives me hope. Maybe you can come back. Maybe you can do it again. But you need to ditch the voiceovers, block your actors and write a fricking script this time. 

Yours Sincerely.

A. Conseesee.

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TERRENCE MALICK DOCUMENTARY VOYAGE OF TIME ‘ALL ABOUT F*CKING’

HOLLYWOOD – Voyage of Time, the new Terrence Malick IMX documentary, is all about f*cking, it was revealed today.

It emerged today that the new Terrence Malick documentary Voyage of Time will be all about sex, shagging, bonking, banging, screwing and cunnilingus.

A source close to the reclusive filmmaker told the Studio Exec:

This is the sauciest you’ve ever seen Malick do.  Badlands and Days of Heaven had very little sex in them and what there was happened off screen. Likewise The Thin Red Line and Tree of Life. There was the tiniest bit in the New World but no one went to see that, but more recently he’s been getting into some internet porn and it has had an influence.

What kind of influence?

Well, aside from the fact he’s lost a lot of weight and he doesn’t read Heidegger anymore. He put some sex into To the Wonder and you should see the version of Knight of Cups that he wanted to release!

You mean he compromised his vision?

He listened to advice that said it would damage his reputation. But this new one is just wall to wall banging and screwing to the sounds of Arvo Part. It’s amazing. And over it Brad Pitt narrates a salacious commentary. Sometimes just repeating words which shouldn’t be rude but given the context suddenly become rude. Like ‘Elbow – marmalade – itch’. See what I mean?

Voyage of Time will be released in 2017.

JURASSIC WORLD 2 GETS NEW DIRECTOR

HOLLYWOOD – Just months before it goes into production, Jurassic World 2 has a new director taking over from Colin Trevorrow.

Jurassic World 2 is to be directed by Terrence Malick, sources within Universal Studios have confirmed. The Tree of Life director is to take on the follow-up to the surprise hit of last year and stars Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard are also confirmed to return. Terrence Malick took a break from a punishing round of promotional interviews surrounding the release of Knight of Cups to talk about his new job.

This is fantastic. I love dinosaurs always have. I’ve wanted to add a dinosaur to all my films but thus far have only been able to slip a couple into the Tree of Life. We had one in The Thin Red Line but Sean Penn made me take it out.

You had a dinosaur in Thin Red Line?

No, wait, dinosaur, no I meant Mickey Rourke. Ha ha ha! Boom goes the Malickian dynamite!

So this is the first time you’ve taken on a big entertainment style movie. How are you going to approach it?

I’ve tried in the past to do entertainment blockbusters. I even had Ben Affleck in To the Wonder because I thought it might make it work better but Olga wouldn’t stop dancing for five minutes and so we couldn’t find anywhere to get the terrorist kidnapping subplot in. This time around it’s going to be different. This time I’m going to write a script.

Wow! A script!?

I know. It’s radical. I’m already working on it and we’re going to tell the story of how the dinosaurs escape onto the mainland. So far, with the exception of the end of Jurassic Park 2, all of these films have been confined to islands but I want to see what a T.Rex would do to a large urban area. And I’m really looking forward to working with Chris Pratt and Jessica Chastain.

Bryce Dallas Howard!

Whatever. The important thing is they give good voiceover. Anything else I can cut around. I’ve started writing the voiceover already.

Is it the first thing you do?

It’s the first, the last and the middle bit of what I do. Here listen: ‘Who are you that calls to me from across the millennia? You who stand before me. Oh! You’re beside me as well. Clever girl!’

Jurassic World 2 will be released in 2018.

THE MAKING OF KNIGHT OF CUPS

HOLLYWOOD – In the latest in our celebrated Making of… series, we look at the behind the scenes drama that went into the making of Terrence Malick’s new film: Knight of Cups.

The Idea

Originally Terrence Malick wrote a three volume novel entitled Knight of Cups and Saucers and showed it around to some close collaborators. Sean Penn read it and immediately advised that Malick should make it his next film.

This was before To the Wonder and I thought Knight of Cups and Saucers would be a perfect film for him to do. For once he had an actual book. He had all the dialogue written and the descriptions were just so cinematic. It was funny and moving. I wept like a baby at various points. It was so touching and I could tell that it was quite close to Terry. I told him, make this film.

The script writing process took a long time and so Malick went ahead first with To the Wonder, but even as he filmed that, whenever he wasn’t giggling at Ben Affleck, he would sit down adn work on the script for his follow up film. Ben Affleck says:

He let me read an early version of the script. It was great. It made me really wish I wasn’t making To the Wonder. I’ve always admired Terry’s early films and that’s why I agreed to work with him. Why I wanted to. It was Days of Heaven and Badlands that I wanted to be in. And this To the Wonder stuff felt like amateurish garbage. He didn’t tell us where to stand and Olga just kept dancing all the time. I thought she was on mushrooms or something. The Knight of Cups and Saucers though was a solid piece of work. It had a great story and was very satirical about Hollywood.

Production

Christian Bale and Cate Blanchett were hired on the strength of the script and production began. Christian Bale tells the story of his first day on set:

We gathered around and we all had to bring our scripts and the novel that we had all been given copies of. I thought we’ll have a table read or something. But Terry takes all our scripts and books and what not and he shreds them in this big industrial shredder. Then he takes handfuls of the shredded script and he gives it back to us in little bags and he says ‘okay here are your lines’. We thought it was a joke at first, but we had to bring these bags every day to the set.

Natalie Portman talks about Terrence Malick’s technique:

It is so liberating as an actor to have a director who says to you: ‘There is no such thing as a fireproof wall’ and then you have to play the scene. We had a love scene and Terry would shout things out like ‘his face is made of bees’ and ‘Christmas is like Easter but with more chocolate’. Often I didn’t know what to do and he would shout dance and I would dance. Or wander about. We would be intently acting our roles and doing what we could with the material and I noticed that Terry and Emmanuel were in the corner and Emmanuel was filming Terry’s belly button. I mean it was literally navel gazing. Genius.

Post-Production

It has often been the case that Terrence Malick films have taken a long time to come to the light following the end of filming.

Jack Fisk long time collaborator speaks:

Terry often finds the film in the heaps of footage that he has taken. He listens to music and he has the actors read out pages and pages of voice-over and somehow he finds the film. Very much like a sculptor might find a statue in a block of stone.

Freida Pinto spoke about her role in the film:

Once filming was done Terry would call up time and time again and we’d go into the studio and he’d have me whisper the voice-over. Some of it was stuff he had written, but most of it was the Little Book of Calm by Paul Wilson.  I read that book about five or six different times and it’s all in the movie. Other actors were reading greeting cards and Christian Bale read the whole of a Sven Hassell novel but that never made it into the finished film.

For more of The Making of… CLICK HERE.

CHRISTIAN BALE SIGNS ON FOR KNIGHT OF CUPS 2

HOLLYWOOD – Christian Bale has begun filming the follow up to Knight of Cups, provisionally entitled Knight of Cups 2.

Terrence Malick’s new film Knight of Cups premiered last year at Berlin and has since being doing the rounds of the festivals. It has received a mixed reaction from critics with some praising Terrence Malick’s continued journey up his own ass and others being more critical. Christian Bale however has revealed that the reclusive filmmaker has already begun filming the follow up to the film and Bale himself returns as Rick, the LA based writer who wanders about a lot.

I can’t tell you too much. As you know, Terry is really strange when it comes to working. He tends to give you a script and then we throw it away and spend the whole time wandering around. We’ve been filming for five days and I’ve wandered around in an airport, on a beach and in a supermarket. The supermarket scene is very reminiscent of the scene in To the Wonder where Ben Affleck wanders about a supermarket. This might be Terry’s most self-referential film yet.

Really?

Yeah, there’s this scene where there a tree. And I asked Terry, is that a reference to the tree of life? and he shook his head but he was smiling at the same time. And then Rick underlines a quote in a book and he does it in red. A thin red line! You see?

So the story?

As I said that isn’t really clear, yet. We know that Rick has had a lot of issues with his father and his brother and a series of beautiful women. So he spends much of Knight of Cups 2 wandering around Los Angeles again and he meets up with some other women, Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Lawrence, Meryl Streep, basically any actress who hasn’t seen the first Knight of Cups.

Wow!

I know. But Terry always wants to push it further, so the second half of the film Rick goes to Seattle and he wanders about there.

Why Seattle?

Well, he wanted to go to Vegas but he got on the wrong flight.

Knight of Cups 2 will be released in 2018.

5 FACTS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT TERRENCE MALICK

HOLLYWOOD – Everyone knows Terrence Malick is a genius, but no one knows why.

The Studio Exec FACT Squad have spent the weekend listening to whispering voice-overs and cavorting around wheat fields during the magic hour. The Terrence Malick FACTS are as follows:

1. Between the release of Days of Heaven (1978) and The Thin Red Line (1998), Terrence Malick opened up a meat providing business called Malick’s Meats, which provided restaurants with high quality meat substances, pastes, salami, burgers and sausages. However, in 1995 Malick sickened by the stench of blood and endless killing – which he would participate in personally donning a special slaughtering apron that made his torso look like the Venus di Milo – he decided to return to film making.

Malick (1982)

2. Although he has a reputation as a recluse, Terry is actually a party animal whose favorite tipple is Jagermeister. His contract stipulates a constant supply of Jagermeister which he drinks via a feeding pipe that is hidden in his hat. His love of hats is legendary, with the director appearing as April in a free calendar given to French readers of the January 1985 edition of Chapeau.

3. Malick’s reputation as a philosopher is unearned. He doesn’t like reading and when asked about Heidegger told the interviewer that he didn’t watch much soccer.

4. Many actors credit Malick with offering them valuable career advice. Richard Gere, Sissy Spacek and Martin Sheen all won early fame in Malick’s films. Jim Caviezel would pester Malick incessantly about what role he should take after The Thin Red Line. ‘Jesus Christ!’ the director finally exploded and Caviezel took him at his word.

5. The quality of each Terrence Malick film goes down in inverse proportion to the number of editors who work on the film. Badlands = 1 editor. To the Wonder = 5 editors. Knight of Cups = 243 editors.

For more FACTS on everything from this to that click HERE! 

TERRENCE MALICK’S NEW FILM INSPIRED BY SON ZAYN MALIK

HOLLYWOOD – Terrence Malick’s new film The Singer Stepped Out is directly influenced by the career of his son Zayn Malik who recently left the ‘pop’ group One Direction.

The garrulous filmmaker and director of such films as The Thin Red Line and The Tree of Life Terrence Malick is to make a new film based on his son Zayn Malik’s singing career. Malick spoke EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec about the venture:

It is going to be unlike anything I’ve ever done before. It’s not going to have a voice-over! And it’s actually a musical. But all that aside, it’s just great to have an opportunity to work with Zayn after years of being estranged.

What was the cause of the estrangement?

Well, I have always been a genius film director, but I guess I wasn’t always the best father in the world. I used to whisper a lot to him about nature and the soul and I guess kids just want to play Nintendo and have fun. For a while there he was very angry. So much so he even changed the way he spelled his name to a new trendy fashion without the ‘c’, but his career took off and we would find ourselves booked on the same talk shows.

Who had the idea?

We both came to a juncture in our careers. To the Wonder and Knight of Cups were greeted by audiences with the same warmth as you’d get offering urine samples in champagne flutes. Zayn had left One Direction and was at a loose end and we got talking about his career and we said why not? I think it’s going to be groovy to see our two audiences come together. Many of whom don’t even know we’re related. Zayn will play himself and Val Kilmer is on board to play Ryan Gosling. Ryan Gosling is playing Natalie Portman and Natalie Portman is playing Christian Bale. Mickey Rourke, Rachel Weisz and Adrien Brody are in it as well but we’ll cut them out. We always do. It’s kind of a tradition

Will any other One Direction members participate in the film?

That sack of talentless shits! No way.

The Singer Stepped Out will be released in 2019.

A STUDIO EXEC APPEAL: MALICK FAN FILM

HOLLYWOOD – George Lucas has had them, Peter Jackson has had them and now it is the turn of Terrence Malick.

I’m talking fan films. Just as the Phantom Menace and more recently the Hobbit have been re-edited and re-imagined by enthusiastic fans who dare to second think the genius of their original creators, so it is time for Mr. Malick’s works to be taken out of his hands. The Studio Exec would like to appeal to anyone out there with the basic software and skills to make a series of fan film versions of Mr. Malick’s latest work. We’re not asking for excessive editing, or narrative manipulation. There’s no Jar Jar Binks to get rid of, it’s just … well… take out the voice overs.

All of them, take them all out. It is our contention that The New World, The Tree of Life and To The Wonder would all be vastly improved by an absence of voice over. I’d even be curious to see what The Thin Red Line, Badlands and Days of Heaven would play like. I have a feeling that the luscious visuals, the swaying camera, the ‘visual poetry’ would be all more bearable without the platitudes and Heidegger, the endless irritating whispering. I might be wrong but it would be really interesting to see.

If anyone is up for it, we can publicize your efforts on the site and repay you with sloppy wet kisses and potentially life destroying legal problems.

Who shall take up the gauntlet?

GONE GIRL: REVIEW

HOLLYWOOD – Batman (Ben Affleck) might have killed (or not) his Bond girl wife (Rosamund Pike) in a film by David Fincher, THE airport novel director of choice.

One day gone: Ben Affleck puts on his acting face and gets to say all the lines that were cut from To the Wonder.

Two days gone: Rosamund Pike speaks in a convincing American accent.

Three days gone: David Fincher likes photographing America at night because he just likes those tungsten yellows and oranges.

Four days gone: [SPOILER ALERT] Tyler Perry is actually good!

Five days gone: f*cking men are all assholes, am I right?

Six days gone: but wait f*cking women, as well, right, can be real bitches, can’t they? Yeah. Post-feminism baitches.

Seven days gone: better than Panic Room and Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, but not a patch on Seven, Fight Club, The Game or (my fave) Zodiac.

Where has my David Fincher gone? Can someone free him from Oprah’s book club?

Gone Girl is on release.

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MUPPETS JOIN KNIGHT OF CUPS

HOLLYWOOD – The extraordinary cast of Terrence Malick’s new film Knight of Cups already includes stars such as Christian Slater and Natalie Portman, but it can be revealed that they will be joined by the assorted talents of the Muppets.

Kermit the Frog told The Studio Exec:

This is a very exciting development for us. We are essentially an old fashioned Vaudeville act and although we have striven to be taken seriously with our adaptation of great literary works  – The Muppet’s Christmas Carol and The Muppet’s Treasure Island to name but two – our efforts have not always been a resounding effect. Here was have a great director, with an artistic vision, and he wants us in the film alongside the likes of Christian and Natalie.

It is understood the decision to cast the Muppets was taken quite late on in the process after filming had already begun.

Fozzie Bear had this to say:

Malick works in unconventional ways and I think while he had begun shooting Knight of Cups he realised that it really lacked a comic edge. The comedy of To the Wonder had gone over everyone’s heads and so he phoned me up and he said ‘Fozzie, I need you bud, I need that old Wokka Wokka magic!’ I said, ‘Can I bring Gonzo?’ He said ‘Bring everybody!’ Five minutes later he phoned up again and said ‘Don’t bring Gervais though.’ Ha ha!

Knight of Cups will be released in 2015.

TERRENCE MALICK: LOOK AT MY HATS

AUSTIN – People often say ‘Hey Terry, what’s with the motherf*cking hats?’ and I say ‘The f*ck you want? Get the f*ck out of my wardrobe! Get outta there ‘fore I kick yo ass!’ But you know – pon reflection – I kinda get the question so here’s an answer. If’n you want it.

Okay first off this photo of me (above) directing The Thin Red Line is f*cking iconic, don’t you think? Look at me rock that bad boy. I look like Indiana Mother-F*cking Jones, boo-ya! I got my tunes on my Sony Walkman (Cypress Hill, bitches). And I’m happy because I just saw Sean Penn step in a rabbit hole and break his ankle. Har-Har!

Now this photograph over here is my first ever film role. It was Badlands. I wanted to play Martin Sheen’s character. He’s such a bad actor. Really poor. And I was all like let me do it, but the studio were nervous cause it was my first film and they were all, ‘Hey Terry, wouldn’t it be best if you focused on directing this time out.’ Then they even cut my role here. It was three hours of screen time in the original. Assholes. Still the hat is a smooth little Panama number, which despite the name are actually made in Venezuela. HAT FACT!
 
 
Let me be clear about one thing: I don’t wear a hat cause I’m folically challenged, no. It’s because I’m as bald as a motherf*cker, is what it is. Look at that globe. I’m balder than Jennifer Lawrence’s knee cap. You can see in my eyes, I’m thinking ‘Where’s my Goddam hat?’ It’s obvious. 
 
 
Now this is just flat out embarrassing. Honestly, I have to hold my hand up and just say that was the day Woody Harrelson visited the set and I was stoned as a motherf*cker. I honestly don’t know what I was thinking there. I got my shades that Michael Jackson (a dear friend) gave me and I’m saying to Ryan Gosling, ‘Just wander round looking sad and we’ll fix it all in post’. He didn’t care. We got well and truly wasted that night.
 
For more Terrence Malick Click Here.
 
 

TERRENCE MALICK: ‘CRITICS, SHUT YOUR HOLES’

A new column by Tree of Life director, Terrence Malick begins with a reply to his critics. 

YO yo yo yo! Motherfckers, Lissen up. Terrence Malick in da Badlands. The Knight of Cups Baby! Tha’s Right. His true self. Gonna lay some goddam TRUTH on yo punk asses. So lissen and LEARN.

Some Bitches been goin round sayin I been doin too many voiceovers and not enough dialogue an’ shit. You goddam assholes better shut yo noise or I’m gonna kick yo sorry asses To the Wonder. You feel me motherfckers? Three Thin Red Lines be coming out three motherfcking bullet holes bro, you don’t stop yo bullshit.

And David Denby of The New Yorker gonna tell me To the Wonder is ‘trivial narcissism’? You lissen up Denby, I’ll introduce you to The New World, The New World of Pain motherfcker!

And Michael O’Sullivan at the Washington Post says the story ‘isn’t compelling’? I’ll compel him up the ass with a Goddam UZI!

And A.O. Scott of The New York Times says the film ‘paves the way to puzzlement, not awe’? Well, you lissen carefully now: you can just shut up. Yeah, I said it.

So pull up the Jagermeisters and sit yo asses down while I lay it out. I do my shit the way I do my shit cos of my keen perception of what Martin Heidegger called Dasein, being that knows it is being, and my hope is to escape that and somehow capture an opening to the actual being in a world of things and how that relates to an openness to God but not a doctrinal and narrow deity, but rather a God grasped in the magic of being and the brief moments – the magic hours – when the perception of this can be most readily achieved, even when it is at its most transitory, motherfckers.

For More Malick CLICK HERE and follow @theTerryMalick on Twitter.



TO THE WONDER: REVIEW

TO THE WONDER: REVIEW – Matt Damon’s dumb ass friend and Iran hostage rescuer goes to France and meets old Bond girl. They monkey about on a train, then go back to America where Olga Kurylenko (for t’is she), plus sprog, can’t stop dancing.

Poor Affleck looks a mite confused because a. she’s hot but b. she won’t stop dancing. Later he looks even more confused because Rachel McAdams turns up and a. she’s hot but b. erm… I don’t know. Confused? Hmmm.
The cries – criticising the emperor’s new clothes – were loud when Tree of Life was released, but I for one, thought it was madcap fun (read that review HERE). Here though it’s not so much that the emperor is naked as we can see his internal organs and it ain’t pretty. Well, that said, it actually is pretty. But the Malick aesthetic has now become industry standard for car and jeans adverts and other than the look, there is very little to hold onto here.  The interminable voice over has now become grating. Sixth form poetry passing for stream of conciousness. Poor Ben looks confused.      Olga dances and doesn’t so much hug trees as suck twigs. Javier Bardem turns up, looking baffled to find himself a priest. He preaches a sermon about love being great, a few more shots of sunsets and cows, and we’re done. The film ultimately overdoses on reverence: – not just for nature, love, God etc. – but for Malick himself who seems in great need of an editor who doesn’t like Terrence Malick films.

BEN AFFLECK’S GIANT HEAD TO GO AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS

After the award success of ARGO. Ben Affleck has decided to embark on a quest to become the first man to go around the world in 80 days powered by nothing but his own ego.

Affleck’s self propelled giant head will be appearing over every major capital city in the world and fans are already excited about catching a glimpse of their favourite actor.

I love Ben Assflick “ said Tokyo postal worker Yoshiru Tanaka. “ He big hero in Japan. My favourite movie is To the Wonder. That Terrence Malick, ha-ha, he a crazy guy!.

Although it is expected Affleck will make his global voyage without incident. Syrian leader Bashar al-Assad has warned him not to stray into his countries airspace.

It is for his own protection we don’t think for a moment that Affleck is a danger to our nations security “ said a diplomatic al-Assad. “ However many of our people still remember Gigli and therefore it’s safe to assume that gunfire and surface to air missiles will be aimed in his direction”.

This is the second time an actor has attempted such a feat. After his Oscar nomination for The Hurt Lockerin 2008, Jeremy Renner’s head managed to make it as far Wisconsin but it deflated after he heard he had missed out on a BAFTA.