PAUL RUDD TO PLAY STEVE GUTTENBERG

HOLLYWOOD – Paul Rudd is to play Steve Guttenberg in a new biopic of the actor made famous by Cocoon, Three Men and a Baby and Police Academy.

The new Ant-Man, Paul Rudd, spoke with the Studio Exec EXCLUSIVELY about the project:

Steve Guttenberg was my inspiration growing up and I would never have thought to have challenged the role if it wasn’t for the fact that the script was out of this world and Alejandro González Iñárritu is a director I greatly admire.

Based on Iñárritu’s own script the film – provisionally entitled Guttenberg – focuses on a late moment in Steve Guttenberg’s career. Rudd explains:

This is not a classical biopic which sweeps from childhood through early struggles and success to inevitable decline. Instead we find Steve at a later part of his career. The heady days of the Eighties are over and the nineties have been dry, but Steve is preparing his directorial debut P.S. Your Cat Is Dead. Alejandro sees the film as a companion to Birdman, continuing his obsession with stars of the 80s and 90s, seeking to make artistic statements.

Did you see the original film?

Yes. It should be a lot better known. It’s really good. We want to make people realize that the guy from Short Circuit was an accomplished actor and director and not think of him as simply a possible cloned threat from China.

A what?

  There’s talk that China have 3D printed an army of Guttenbergs.

Good God!

Quite.

Guttenberg Will be released in 2023.

CHINA 3D PRINT AN ARMY OF GUTTENBERGS

The Chinese government have confirmed that they have successfully 3D printed an army of Steve Guttenbergs

 

BEIJING – The Chinese government have confirmed that they have successfully 3D printed an army of Steve Guttenbergs, but have assured the West that they are only to be used in cases of extreme defense and/or ‘to f*ck up Tibet’.

The Studio Exec previously reported how 3D printers when set to random would print a Guttenberg, but this was initially perceived to have been a glitch in the hardware. It has now become apparent that the Chinese have either taken advantage of the glitch, or had designed the 3D printers intentionally to create weapon grade Guttenbergs. 

The star of Police Academy, Three Men and a Baby, Cocoon and P.S. I Killed Your Cat is reportedly sanguine about having been cloned. He issued the following statement:

I believe that the Chinese government have taken this action only in the interests of world peace. With the power vacuum left by the collapse of American power abroad, it behooves the world’s largest economy to step in and take over the role of global policeman. If they need to do so using clones based on my image, then all I can say is the world is in safe hands.

President Obama expressed concern at the escalation, and international observers voiced worries that a new arms race is in progress, as reports reached us last night that the Russians have deployed an army of Kelsey Grammers on the Ukraine border.

What do you think? Should Steven Guttenberg be taken out as a ‘preventative measure’? Leave a brain stain in the comments box below.

THE MAKING OF PLATOON

HOLLYWOOD – In our new series ‘The Making of…’ we go behind the scenes, using previously unseen letters, diaries and documents, of a major motion picture landmark of cinema. This week Platoon.

The Idea.

The original idea for Platoon came to Oliver Stone when he was a schoolboy in 1956. He writes in his unpublished autobiography A Stone’s Throw:

I was a dreamy kid. I’d look out of the windows and wonder about movies I’d like to make. I don’t know if it was seeing something on television but I really wanted to make a film about a young marine who goes to a South East Asian country and becomes torn between two rival Sergeants. Of course Vietnam wasn’t going to get going for some years, but when it did I knew that this was the perfect opportunity for me to research the script that I still intended to write and so that’s what I did.

Casting.

Martin Sheen was originally approached to play the role of Chris Taylor but after several years had passed with Stone unable to secure financing Sheen pulled out. This is the letter he wrote to Oliver Stone:

Hey Ollie,

I’m sorry it has to end this way but I simply can no longer commit to the role of ‘Chris’ in your film, Platoon. I’m getting too old for the role and as written it resembles too closely my part in Apocalypse Now. I feel guilty about leaving you high and dry so I have a suggestion to make and I hope you will take it in good spirit. I have a son who is a very accomplished actor and physically resembles me in some way. I wouldn’t want to be accused of nepotism so I’d insist you audition him properly, but it might be a solution for you. I’ve included Emilio’s address should you want to go with that.

Production.

The filming took place in the Philippines which was then under the rule of the dictator Marcos. Condition were tough and Tom Berenger, who played Sergeant Bob Barnes complained of Oliver Stone’s commitment to realism in this letter to his girlfriend Lisa Williams:

Ollie is one tough son of a bitch. He sent us through basic training so that we would move like soldiers and achieve a basic sense of realism, but now we’re doing the fight scenes, we’re beginning to worry. He wants to use live ammo! He says squibs always look fake. I have to shoot Willem [Dafoe] and goddamn it, if he doesn’t actually want me to shoot him! When I questioned him, he yelled at me to ‘respect his process’ as he reloaded my MK 47. What could I do? I’m not going back to the soaps! I aimed to miss vital organs, but give Ollie his due, the dailies look great and we’re all very happy. Willem has been flown back to the states for surgery. Apparently the bullet is lodged in there quite tightly.

Post-Production.

Music would play a fundamental role in the success of the film and Stone commissioned Georges Delerue to score the picture. However, the composer of such iconic French films as Jules et Jim and Le Mepris would run into difficulty with his American director. He wrote to Francois Truffaut:

These Americans! Sacre Bleu! as we French say all the time. The emotional core of the film is when the Sergeant is shot but reappears chased by the enemy and dies in a Christ-like pose. M. Stone told me to write something like Samuel Barber’s Adagio. It’s a saccharine piece of twaddle but what am I going to do. I try my best but every time I play him my work, he says ‘no! I want it like the Barber piece’. Finally I told him to just use the Barber piece and that’s exactly what he ended did. I should have stayed in Paris, but now at least I’ve got the job of doing the music to Three Men and a Baby.

Platoon was released in 1986.

TOM SELLECK TO REMAKE WATERWORLD

HOLLYWOOD – In what is being seen as an outrageous excess of gall, former Magnum PI star Tom Selleck is to remake Kevin Costner’s hit movie Waterworld.

Three Men and a Baby star Tom Selleck is to remake Kevin Reynold’s 1995 movie Waterworld. Although originally considered a massive flop at the time, plagued with a number of logistical and ego-derived problems, Waterworld actually went on to make a modest profit in ancillary sales. Tom Selleck came around to the Studio Exec bungalow to speak about what he called his dream project:

I love the original. I love the scale of it. Kevin Costner and Kevin Reynolds were both coming off a massive hit, but even so their combined vision is unbelievable. I’ve always been considered a TV actor and that’s okay with me. But at the same time I’ve longed to have a true break out movie on the big screen and I mean big. A real four wall blockbuster. So This is what I hope to do with Waterworld.

What attracted you to Waterworld in particular?

It combines two themes I am really interested in. First of all the future. I care about the future as anyone who has seen my hedge fund portfolio can tell you. But the other passion I have is water. I love water. I love drinking in it, swimming in it, taking baths and showers and God, watering my lawn. That is a genuine pleasure. I am a firm believer also in the health benefits of water. I think you should drink it down. I really do. So to make a film in which water has become the entire world… That’s a dream come true.

But what do you say to people who say that – considering the water shortage – this film choice is tactless, perhaps even a provocation?

I don’t understand how people could even dream of thinking like that. I’m not a scientist bu the California water shortage is exactly that: a water shortage. I water my crops and fill my pool. I’m using water. How is that a shortage? I’m drinking water right now, look [glug glug]. See!

But the shortage means the more you use the less everyone else has?

I don’t understand that. Surely if there’s a water shortage we should encourage people to use as much water as possible and I am for that. But this is all by the by. In the future the world will be water and my film Waterworld will show the way. In the film an evil government tries to stop rich individuals from using all the water they want to water golf courses and the like. They want to steal rich people’s water and give it to all these so called ‘thirsty’ people. But Magnum (that’s me) part man, part fish, comes along and saves the day.

Waterworld will be released in 2016.

Image courtesy of @ThePixelFactor.

THE MAKING OF PLATOON

HOLLYWOOD – In our new series ‘The Making of…’ we go behind the scenes, using previously unseen letters, diaries and documents, of a major motion picture landmark of cinema. This week Platoon.

The Idea.

The original idea for Platoon came to Oliver Stone when he was a schoolboy in 1956. He writes in his unpublished autobiography A Stone’s Throw:

I was a dreamy kid. I’d look out of the windows and wonder about movies I’d like to make. I don’t know if it was seeing something on television but I really wanted to make a film about a young marine who goes to a South East Asian country and becomes torn between two rival Sergeants. Of course Vietnam wasn’t going to get going for some years, but when it did I knew that this was the perfect opportunity for me to research the script that I still intended to write and so that’s what I did.

Casting.

Martin Sheen was originally approached to play the role of Chris Taylor but after several years had passed with Stone unable to secure financing Sheen pulled out. This is the letter he wrote to Oliver Stone:

Hey Ollie,

I’m sorry it has to end this way but I simply can no longer commit to the role of ‘Chris’ in your film, Platoon. I’m getting too old for the role and as written it resembles too closely my part in Apocalypse Now. I feel guilty about leaving you high and dry so I have a suggestion to make and I hope you will take it in good spirit. I have a son who is a very accomplished actor and physically resembles me in some way. I wouldn’t want to be accused of nepotism so I’d insist you audition him properly, but it might be a solution for you. I’ve included Emilio’s address should you want to go with that.

Production.

The filming took place in the Philippines which was then under the rule of the dictator Marcos. Condition were tough and Tom Berenger, who played Sergeant Bob Barnes complained of Oliver Stone’s commitment to realism in this letter to his girlfriend Lisa Williams:

Ollie is one tough son of a bitch. He sent us through basic training so that we would move like soldiers and achieve a basic sense of realism, but now we’re doing the fight scenes, we’re beginning to worry. He wants to use live ammo! He says squibs always look fake. I have to shoot Willem [Dafoe] and goddamn it, if he doesn’t actually want me to shoot him! When I questioned him, he yelled at me to ‘respect his process’ as he reloaded my MK 47. What could I do? I’m not going back to the soaps! I aimed to miss vital organs, but give Ollie his due, the dailies look great and we’re all very happy. Willem has been flown back to the states for surgery. Apparently the bullet is lodged in there quite tightly.

Post-Production.

Music would play a fundamental role in the success of the film and Stone commissioned Georges Delerue to score the picture. However, the composer of such iconic French films as Jules et Jim and Le Mepris would run into difficulty with his American director. He wrote to Francois Truffaut:

These Americans! Sacre Bleu! as we French say all the time. The emotional core of the film is when the Sergeant is shot but reappears chased by the enemy and dies in a Christ-like pose. M. Stone told me to write something like Samuel Barber’s Adagio. It’s a saccharine piece of twaddle but what am I going to do. I try my best but every time I play him my work, he says ‘no! I want it like the Barber piece’. Finally I told him to just use the Barber piece and that’s exactly what he ended did. I should have stayed in Paris, but now at least I’ve got the job of doing the music to Three Men and a Baby.

Platoon was released in 1986.