Hollywood – With the launch of the JJ Abrams Project Management Course online, the blockbuster director tells us his secrets on how to plan mega-budget franchises like Star Wars.
JJ, how do you plan such a large project like Star Wars?
First of all, I ask myself, ‘What would Spielberg do?’ and then I just splurge it all out on the page in a big ol’ treatment. Don’t forget the lens flare. Then once the first draft of the first film is done it’s time to spend some major fucking studio money baby. Get the green screens up and let cameras roll.
So you just write a draft of the first film. What about planning all of the films in the franchise?
Why would I want to do that? Who gives a shit. It’s fucking Star Wars. I could film a dog taking a dump for two and a half hours. As long as I super impose a light saber in his little paw, it would still make $700million. I guarantee it.
So you never planned anything beyond The Force Awakens?
Neeeerd! Nah. Who’s got the time to fuck about with all that?
Is that what you recommend in the modules of your course?
Modules? Plural? There’s only one, man. Who can be bothered with writing more than one module? I got billions from what I made on Star Wars and Star Trek. And all that money won’t spend itself. Know what I mean?
Well, what about the art of storytelling, artistic integrity and appreciation for the craft?
Hahahahahahah, you’re a funny fucking guy. I should put you in my next movie as the comic relief. You’ll be much cheaper than that smart ass Brit, Simon Pegg. Look, it don’t matter what you plan. As long your name is pinned on the right franchise, nobody gives a shit.
But what about Kevin Feige at Marvel? He’s a meticulous planner.
That’s all well and good for those little Marvel B-movies where budgets are tight. That aint my jam. Ya dig?