BRUTALLY CONFUSED OSCAR VOTER WANTS MERYL STREEP TO WIN BEST PICTURE

HOLLYWOOD – Meryl Streep should win the Best Picture Oscar, according to a confused Academy member.

Anonymous Academy voter has argued that the Best Picture Oscar should go to Meryl Streep. Speaking EXCLUSIVELY to the Studio Exec, the confused voter gave this account of himself:

I’m not voting for Get Out because a. I don’t like horror movies and b. black people. I’m not voting for Shape of Water because a. I don’t like monster movies and b. I don’t like Mexicans. Phantom Thread: a. I don’t like ghost stories b. who’s this Fred? Ladybird is out because women. Yuk. Call Me By Your Name put me off fruit. The Post is fake news. Dunkirk I can’t understand why Bane is flying a Spitfire. So I’ve decided to vote for Meryl Streep for best picture.

But she isn’t nominated in that category.

It doesn’t matter. She is wonderful and I’m voting for her as best director, best make up, best soundtrack as well. Frankly, I’m just writing Streep all over my ballot.

The Oscars are tomorrow.

THE POST – REVIEW

THE POST – REVIEW – All the President’s Men gets a prequel.

Meryl Streep and Tom Hanks star in a Steven Spielberg film about the Washington Post and the publication of the Pentagon Papers during the Nixon presidency. This should be nailed on Oscar glory and guaranteed quality all the way through. Not to mention with the Trump war on Fake News and the Free Press, there’s an urgency to getting this right. And yet… and yet…

It seems as if an air of complacency set in somewhere around the story conference stage. There’s very little drama here. There’s precious little politics. And although Spielberg is obviously in love with the thingness of things – heavy telephones, newsprint and hair cream – the period doesn’t even fell right. It feels more fifties than seventies.

Part of the problem is that everything is centered around Streep as the publisher and owner of the paper. This sucks the drama from the picture. There’s no David and Goliath here. It’s more Goliath and a smaller Goliath with huge Maggie Thatcher hair and a series of night gowns. Christ almighty, can we get Meryl out of the night gowns for just five seconds please!?

Tom Hanks walks around like white bread made flesh. And all the events of great moment come down to a simple decision made by someone very rich who might become slightly less rich. And lose a couple of her politician friends.

Obviously, it’s unfair to compare the film to All the President’s Men, except the film actually does it itself.

So let’s just say it’s shitter than All the President’s Men.

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