HOLLYWOOD – Johnny Depp has an unrecognizability clause in his contract, it was revealed today.

Noted children’s entertainer and one time actor Johnny Depp has a special ‘unrecognizability clause’ in his contract which states:

Johnny Depp (hereafter the ARTIST) must be made up and costumed in such a way as to make reviewers and critics write something along the lines of ‘Johnny Depp is unrecognizable in the role’. This must be done no matter how distracting the make up and costume might be to the story and the ARTIST must be allowed to go home in the costume and visit hospitals, children’s parties etc.

Although insiders tell the Studio Exec that this part of the contract is not always enforced, Depp insists that it is always present should he feel the urge. Black Mass, Alice Through the Looking Glass, The Lone Ranger, the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise and Tusk all fell victim to the clause.

The most recent film in which the clause was not enforced – Transcendence – was largely seen as a flop and has only hardened Depp’s insistence on being unrecognizable. However, legal expert Morty Penn told the Exec that the clause has very little validity.

You see, the problem is once you become known for appearing unrecognizable then it’s precisely your ostentatious disguise which makes you so obviously you. It becomes your trademark.

Tim Burton, Johnny Depp’s best friend and many believe his enabler, says that he believes Depp’s method is due to his childhood:

When you’re a child you want to dress up and pretend to be someone else. That is in what essence acting is. And that is what Johnny does. And he does it well. He tries to go away and do something else – like the Rum Diary – but then he comes back to me weeping and begging me to put a ton of make up on him and dress him up as a banana or something.

Alice Through the Looking Glass will be released in 2016.


Gore Verbinski has made an exuberantly entertaining comedy Western starring a bravura performance from Johnny Depp, but enough about Rango, what’s The Lone Ranger like?
Well, he took a narrative device from Little Big Man, several scenes, the sound design, the long coats and musical queues from Once Upon A Time in The West, a scene from The Searchers, the desert and parasol from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, some costuming from The Big Country, the ethical argument (but not the ethics) of The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, the villain from a video game, Tim Burton’s wife from Tim Burton, the landscape from John Ford, the doomed Indians from Dances with Wolves, the roller-coaster from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean, a reference to Charlie Chaplin, poor Armie Hammer, Hans Zimmer’s the William Tell overture, and has made a theme park blockbuster that looks beautiful but is often both metaphorically and literally a train wreck.